Phone Etiquette for Dummies

In my job as a receptionist I am often annoyed with people. Generally speaking, my co-workers leave me alone and tend not to bother me in my cocoon of silence at the front of the office. However, that cannot be said of the goons on the other end of the phone line.

The only thing worse than a caller who drank too much coffee and speeds through their return phone number at warp speed nine is the person who insists on speaking slowly and deliberately. The one who takes five seconds per number: "Three... Zero... Four..." By the time they are done giving me their number - I am so mad that I've forgotten to write it down and have to ask them to repeat it. This confirms their suspicions that I am but a moron with a number pad and they start again - slowly and deliberately: "Three..."

I will kill them all one day.

I will.

Kill them.

All.

With kindness, of course!

What did YOU think I meant?!

Ahahahahahahaah!