Kareoke of the Mind

Every. Single. Time I get my - um - ya know - Girl Time - I hear "I Enjoy Being a Girl" in my head - but it takes on a Life of its own.

My rendition follows - be warned, though - 'tis not for the faint of heart...

I Hate Being a Girl

When I have a brand new hair-don't
With my eyelashes all uncurled,
I float as the rocks on air don't,
I hate being a girl!

When men say I'm mad and bitchy
And my smile isn't sweet, but snarled,
I just say that I'm kinda itchy
I hate being a girl!

I cry when my fellow sends me flowers,
I weep over dresses made of lace,
I whine on the telephone for hours
Stuffing a pound of chocolate in my face!

I'm strictly a bloated female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a cowering, scared male
Who'll hate being a guy, having a girl... like... me!