Can I Get a Do-Over?

I think college is one of the worst places for "if you don't know the ropes" - they'll hang you with 'em. I had to go on campus today. I had three goals: to get my new I.D., to get my books and to eat.

And I had one hour to do it all.

Going into the basement - I am in line behind three jocks and an airhead. I'm not being mean. Nor am I shunning these folk. I am just describing what I saw. For fifteen minutes I watched as the guy behind the counter explained to the four of them that no college I.D.'s can be given without an official photo I.D. like a driver's license or a Service Card.

The airhead sighed and said, "Okay - we'll come back later - oh - but I do need to change the address for my friend - ya know - where they're gonna be mailing his I.D. card. He came in last week..." On and on the story ran as she detailed to the man (who really didn't give a flippin' rat's ass about this chick or her friend) her plight in a high-pitched whiny voice that she probably thought sounded like Paris Hilton's.

It didn't.

It was worse.

Finally, blissfully, they left and I was able to get up to the window. I had my new Student Number ready to go, my WV I.D. and even my Social Security Card, just in case.

"Name?" he asked.

"Student Number starting with 901?" he asked next.

I obliged.

"Okay, go have a seat and we'll get your picture."

I was confused. "You don't want to see my Driver's License?"

"Nah."

I sat, fluffed my hair and smiled for the camera. Catching a glimpse of the screen, I saw myself, looking not un-like a marshmallow with hair and furrowed my brow in horror.

SNAP!

THAT will be my new Student I.D.- I will now be greeting my chums of higher education - forever immortalized with a "What the Fu-?" look on my chubby, freckled, squinty face.