Monday, August 14, 2006

Three showers and a party!

My Saturday was PACKED.  Harry and I were required to attend a mirade of social events that included: two showers, a fashion show, a one-year-old birthday party and a movie with my sister and Brian.  

At noon we arrived at the lovely (ahem!) Huntington Mall to see my niece in the Fashion Show.  She was modeling for JC Penny.  But that didn't stop her and her bouncing pigtails from squeeeeeeeeing down the stage at Mach 3 during the Limited, the Buckle and Charlotte Russe.   She's slippery.  :) 

Leaving there we went to Target and picked out a toy- oh- must stop here and describe Harry's "toy-picking" process.  He has to look at every box carefully.  He studies the pictures with furrowed brow and will push all buttons available.   Harry will then weigh in his mind the educational significance v. the funtime significance.  I was like "Ooh - this one has a sticker on it that says 'Top Toy Award.'  Let's get this one and go!"   He's still studying the box.   "See, honey - there's a sticker."  Finally I convince him and we're off!  We grab a gift card for Shower #2 and head out into the heat and to the outdoor Wedding Shower.

Now - you people know me - and if you don't  - here's a rather obvious realization.  I don't "do" heat.  And it seems like more and more people are holding events outside in the - heat.  So there I am - a chubby girl melting in the 90 degree sun and a freakin' smorgasborg for all things creepy, crawly, buggy and stingy. 

Now- rant is over - on to the shower!

I got to meet a lot of Harry's friends from High School as we ate everything in sight (bonus points for me - I wore white - devoured baked beans and even had mustard on my hamburger and managed NOT to drop a single morsel on the boob shelf! Yippee!).  Halfway through a fruit kabob the girl who will only be know as "She Who Perpetually Smells Something Bad" stopped in front of our table: "Hi Harry!"

I look around, look down, touch my leg, pinch my arm and then, once I've verified that I'm NOT FREAKIN' INVISIBLE, I look up and smile a big fake, hopefully food-ridden smile. She's pleading with Harry and invisible me to come to the after party at another girl's house.  I continue to smile largely and will myself to not smash a grape up her nose for sport.

Luckily, we party ways with the partiers a little while later - without having to make nose wine.  

Arriving at my psuedo-nephew's First Birthday Party (he's not really my nephew - but with those big day-glo blue eyes and perfect pouty lips - all he has to do is learn the phrase "Buy me a pony?" and I'll be frisking Harry for his American Express!) we talk to the Proud Papa who asks about the aforementioned Bridal Shower. 

He then tells us that he got a phone call from the girl holding the after party and that she said:  "Oh - you guys should try to make it to the party!  We're getting a keg!"  Ohhh - enticing - but I think, the last time I checked - this invisible gal was OVER the age of 23 and no longer needing a keg to "have fun".   He told her all about the fun times planned for the Birthday Party and - I can't make this gem up - she said "Well, if you can get away!" 

HA!  What was she expecting him to say?  "Well - we're gonna tie him to a tree - leave out a cake and then run away - so we should be there around eight!  See ya then!"  

People crack me up

Oh -and we didn't make it to the movie - the entire town of Hutington was packed into the two block radius of Pullman Square.  I didn't have the patience or the social skills to pull that off.  Not without bloodshed, at least...


pippa1116 said...

some grow up faster than others.  pretty soon, she will run out of buddies to party with.

lsk49rs said...

I sometimes think Purgatory is being stuck in the toy aisle of any large store with my Mother during Christmas shopping......thank you for your laughter!

Leslie K.

dpoem said...

Give her my number. I'll freakin' wreck the woman if you put a keg in front of us.  I mean: Hellooooo?!?  Wisconsin!  Even the flippin' mosquitoes in this state have a binge-drinking problem.  


psychfun said...

Nose wine...girl you quack me up! :-) I had a 13 yr old party yesterday. Our family got him the bean bag boxes game. He got one White Sox & one Cubs to rival in the family! :-) Got a few other tid bits too for him. I would have laid a big juicy one on him in front of her. ;-) If he was a smart guy he would have done it to you in front of her! :-) Didn't he even introduce you???? Get that boy! :-)

therealslimemmy said...

i hate sitting outside in the heat too for stuff like that
sounds like you had a fun weekend though