Monday, August 21, 2006

Various Things from Holly's Brain

1.  When I type my name - EVERYTIME - it turns out like this:  HOlly, And I have to backspace and fix it.  Think it's a subconscious Fredian Slip?  Wait - don't answer that.

2.  Harry and Johnny found a hat for me at Cracker Barrel.  It was black and had white lettering:  "I think I'm confused... Wait. No I'm not."   I think I should've bought it.  Wait. No I shouldn't have... :)

3.  Harry found my "Oh - I MUST HAVE THAT" Palm Pilot hidden in a kitchen drawer.  Used once.  He said, sarcastically, "Well, THAT was a good purchase!" and then pulled out a crap load of electonics for HIM that have never been used.   I resisted the urge to bludgeon him with an old cell phone.

4.  Last night, Harry and I decided to perform a "Human Guinea Pig" experiment.  I would do all the things that one was "supposed" to do on a daily basis (brush teeth three times a day, floss, wash face morning and night, eat three meals a day, 8 8oz glasses of water, don't curse, don't talk behind other's backs.. etc...)   So what did I do this morning?  I woke up - hit snooze - seriously hindering my "get in 30 mins of exercise" time and then said "Well, hell!" - and I've yet to eat breakfast.  Somehow I think this experiment has failed.  Unless I can claim to be part of the control group.

5.  I can't stand fake people.  Or people who talk for ten to tweny minutes straight - without noticing  that I've conveniently nodded off.  Or people who baby talk.  Don't do that - EVER.  Even to babies.  I'm sure if they could talk they'd say "Knock it the f**k off!"

6.  I picked up a toy squirrel at Bob Evan's yesterday.   It said "Squeeze me" so I did.  Instead of chirping or squeaking - it sounded like a flying dino on acid or a dying squirrel, at best. I told this to my sister and she said "Howdoyouknowwhatadyingsquirrelsoundslike?"  I said "Well - when I hit one with my car - it went 'KER-thunk'.  Then again - it ran out of nowhere and then jumped UP into my bumper - so it may have been suicidal..."  Summer snorted and giggled for ten minutes after that - occasionally muttering "KER-thunk! KER-thunk!"

7.  Kitchen appliances I have - but rarely use:  Professional Kitchen Aid Mixer (Harry won't let me touch - I had to buy a small hand mixer so as to not "mess up" his big mamajama mixer!), blender, toaster, toaster oven, food processor, milkshake maker, smoothie maker, waffle maker, George Foreman grill (minus one leg ---OOOOps.), waffle stick maker, fajita maker, slushie maker, bread maker, deep fryer and a popcorn popper.  

8.  I start Grad School today and I kinda already feel like I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on.  Like - I'll walk into my class full of tiny, trendy people who OBVIOUSLY knew that the entire book list was supposed to have been read BEFORE class and OBVIOUSLY knew that you must only use yellow highlighters and blue pens and I will stand there, clutching my unread texts and my black felt tip and will shiver as I feel my dignity die in Corbly Hall Room 354.   Or else I'll do fine. One or the other, I'm sure.

9.  We had to empty out our downstairs tv room so that it could be repainted and cleaned (due to water damage of MANY months ago).  Once the sofas were moved - I spotted it - the dreaded half of a purple easter egg - Phoebe's favorite toy and one that she like to put in bed with me so that it may poke me in my sleep.  About midnight last night she appeared in the hallway - purple cone over her nose and screeching.  She found it.   Arrrgh! 

10.   After dropping off the Denali to have the tire sensor fixed, get it inspected and to have the squeak in the passenger seat fixed - I picked it up and had driven about a half a mile when the "check tire sensor" message flashed.  After cursing like a seasoned sailor for a good twenty minutes I then looked at the inventory of what was "worked on."  They didn't inspect it because I told them I couldn't find the registration - but to look in the stuff in the seat - where it turned out to be.  I then noticed that they found no squeak in the seat - they had tried to duplicate the sound  - but couldn't get the driver's side to make any noise.  Yup  they checked the wrong side!  I would love to be a WV mechanic so that I would have license to prove I was an idiot.  "Here's yer sign."


geminisolox said...

I share various Brain Things.....  like "I used to be undecided.. but now I'm not so sure".  Also have the kitchen gadget collection, but I know I have to keep it all looking like its being used, and it has to gather dust for at least six months before I can cautiously ask hubby to put them in the loft.  And just don't ask about losing and finding... hubbies glass eye once turned up in the bread bin!!!!   Many thanks for a good giggle across the water... Gem in the UK xx

gazker said...

Hi Holly, I think your brain is like mine, no it's not, yes it is, well maybe. Oh I dunno, have a good day anyway!

tenyearnap said...

Waffle stick maker?!?!?!

therealslimemmy said...

you are too cute
i enjoy your journal