I present, once again, evidence that my future is only as bleak as those forecasting it:Virgo (August 23 - September 21)
You might have committed to a social event or two for today or this evening, dear Virgo, but now that it's time, you probably don't feel like going. You've been working hard, and you feel the need for some rest and relaxation. Nonetheless, you might feel obligated to go. If you feel this way, don't think you have to stay for the entire party. Put in an appearance, say hello to everyone, and leave. It's OK to do this!
Yeah, um, I'm as excited as a drag queen on prom night for tonight. I'm having a GIRL'S NIGHT which should be oh-so-fun and the menu is so varied that my taste buds may explode with anticipation like popcorn in a microwave!
Okay- my analogies are sucking like a brand-new Dyson - so I'll stop with that horrible comparison.
What was I discussing?
Oh yeah - so my horrorscope tells me to not "stay for the entire party" - but it's AT MY HOUSE! What'm I supposed to do "Um - hey - yeah - I know ya'all are enjoying the eggplant caviar and dainty chicken salad sandwiches but - I'm pooped - so - scadaddle!"
I'm gonna party until I puke. Which, since this is my first time making the Eggplant caviar (which contains no fish spawn, I may add), it may be possible.
So- screw you fate! Screw the three sisters holding the thread of my life and the scissors of death! Buzz off you big ball of foreboding! I'm gonna party like it's 1999!
Or seven years later.