No - I'm fine.
No - my gallbladder did NOT shoot out of my bellybutton and attach itself to a passing by host.
No - all my teeth are still in my head.
No - I didn't run over any pregnant smokers.
My niece happened to find some very well hidden "candy" and - to be safe - we took her to the ER. She was fine, but after four hours in a small Emergency Room with a hyper three year old - I was ready to duct tape her to the wall. And my sister, too. Just for fun...
The oh-so-hunky Doc walked into the room at 11 PM. He looked at Gillian and said "So - she ingested some mild antihistamines - does she seem normal to you?" The question was directed towards Summer who was currently trying to hold on to a greased pig (Gillian).
"Um - yeah," she laughed as Gillian bucked. Doctor McYummyScrubs raised an eyebrow and then said, "Well she seems fine - and I really don't think if she had ingested many pills that she would've taken off down the hall like she did a few minutes ago. Which was quite entertaining for us, by the way."
Summer turned purple from embarrassment.
Gillian kicked and giggled.
"Hey - have you ever had her tested for ADHD?" he asked Summer.
She shook her head.
"Does ADHD run in your family?" Summer's face flushed again - popping her freckles out to amazing clarity. She slowly and timidly raised her hand.
The good doctor laughed and then left us with pediatrician recommendations and some tips for keeping pills locked up away from tiny, hyper hands.
We finally leave the Emergency Area and are walking down the hallway when the beast gets loose and (666 birthmark on display for all to see) goes squeeeeeealing down the aisles. Summer teeters after her, arms outstretched as me and about six orderlies watch in amusement.
"STOPRIGHTTHERELITTLEMISSY!" Summer yells in the middle of the emergency room. Gillian rounds a corner and keeps on running: "Squeeeeeeeeeee!" she screams as she streaks past a guy in blue scrubs. "STOP!" Summer finally turns the corner and grabs her - all the while her milky white plentiful boobs hanging out for all to see.
I don't say anything. And - since no areola is visible - I choose just point and laugh like the good sibling I am. At this point I can't fix her shirt and neither can she - she's holding Gillian in both arms as we walk out the sliding doors.
Sis finally looks down, sees her ample cleavage popping out of her shirt and then says "Well - I guess that's why no one was rushing to my aid, huh?"
I would've been mortified.
But not Summer. No, she just thinks of it as her way of doing some good in the world. A free peep show to some overworked male nurses in the ER. She's such a philanthropist!