Thursday, August 24, 2006

Stressed.

I am sitting at work, headache-free for the first time in three days and I'm slowly working myself right into another skull-splitting migraine. 

Why?

Because I'm trying to plan a Bachelor Party.

Yup.

Since my hubby is the best man in a wedding in two weeks - I've somehow been promoted to acting best man while Harry struggles in Texas doing such unfun things as riding go-karts, playing shuffleboard and going on Milkshake runs at 10 PM.  I don't mind, really - I figure I can make a boob cake just as well as the next person.  Heck - all I have to do is look down to check on accuracy! But, my dear perfectionist hubby has decided he doesn't just want a set-o-boobs (on which I would love to transcribe "Have a Titilating Bachelor Party!") or a vagina complete with anatomically correct details, nope - he wants the WHOLE WOMAN.  And not just any woman - preferably Jenna Jameson. 

Now - I consider myself a semi-quasi-sorta-kinda-artiste! But I can't duplicate the curves and bumps of a first-rate porn star! I mean - those things aren't found in nature - so how am I to re-create them?

So - any ideas, suggestions or comments will be happily accepted.  Otherwise, my role of acting best man will be put into jeopardy...

6 comments:

gazker said...

Nice Jugs Holly! Cant you get a blow up doll and cover it in icing?

h0llyk911 said...

Hmm - If I covered a blow up doll in icing - then the cutting process would be quite - well - explosive!   They'd go out with a bang! What a way to - okay - gonna stop here.  I feel myself getting too raunchy - and it's not even 11 am yet!

cheshirecat578 said...

I'm just amazed that you know how to make a boob cake!

argesq said...

Find a local bakery that puts actual pictures on cakes.  Go there in person.  Slip the baker a $20 (preferably a female) and explain your entire story.  Hand her a picture of naked Jenna Jameson.  Hope for the best.

Or, just order a normal square cake and get some Jenna Jameson action figures to put on top (and please don't ask me how I know that they make Jenna Jameson action figures).  Actually, they also make Pamela Anderson action figures (which are not anatomically correct or have removable clothes, unlike Jenna's).  You could get a square cake with chocolate icing....and get a Jenna action figure and a Pam action figure....and make them "mud wrestle" on the top of the cake.  You might be the bestest best man ever.  

psychfun said...

Ha, Love the mud wrestling idea! LMAO! Now how would you husband know it was not exactly fit to scale???? ;-) Tell him they just airbrush her on tv & this is what she looks like in reality! Ha!

therealslimemmy said...

haha good luck!
try and have some fun with this though ;)
ttyl
<3, emily