A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

Funny Things From My Morning:

1. A little guy in a motorized wheelchair was rolling along the sidewalk walking his little tiny dog who was on a leash - and circling the man like he was in orbit.

2. A proud soccer mom in her minivan - her bumper sticker proudly proclaiming: "I LOVE BUSH."

3. I'm regretting my choice of a horizontal striped shirt.

4. My office manager just introduced me to the temp - and pronounced my last name wrong. I've been working here three years.

5. I looked all over the floor of my closet, under piles of clothes and purses, to find a certain pair of shoes - that were in their box neatly on the shelf.

6. Two people were here to meet with one of the Lawyermen - but the older attorney came out and stole them back to his office to entertain them with traveling stories and about the time he apprehended a pick-pocket in Italy.

7. I found a fake rubber spider and put it on Phoebe - thinking she would freak and it would be a great way to start off a morning watching a tubby Himalayan go all Sumo on a little fake spider. She didn't even feel it. She's too fluffy. Or unobservant. But she sat there with it riding her like a thoroughbred until she rolled over and it fell off - still without her noticing. I'm thinking her nickname of "Killer" is really undeserved. Especially after a real spider was found on the bed yesterday afternoon and she stepped on it before moving on.

Funny things that happened last night:

1. I ran back up to Michael's - at 10 till close and picked up silk flowers - 20 orange lilies and 10 orange tulips. I didn't realize until later that in my retail frenzy I had miscounted my tulips and cheated Michael's out of fifty cents. I would return it - but I'm just not that nice of a person...

2. I lost my phone. I looked everywhere for it until Harry finally called it and - a man answered. Chris, the manager of Outback Steakhouse had found my pink Sliver phone - on the table where I left it. I then had to go in and sheepishly ask for my phone which was given to me after a fair amount of teasing.

3. There's a little fair going on by my parent's house. "Do you want to stop and get a funnel cake?" My thought process: No, is bad for me, shouldn't have, gallbladder will try to jump out through bellybutton, bad food, greasy... What I said: "Sure!"

4. While eating the funnel cake I noticed a small black bug nestled in the powder sugar to the side. "Harry, there's a bug in my funnel cake." He took the plate, flicked away the bug and handed it back to me. I looked at the treat, saw no other signs of larvae or the like, so - I'm ashamed to admit - I ate it.

5. Half way through the (hopefully) bug-less funnel cake a little man wandered over to us. He was picking up trash from the field. Harry and I were up to our elbows in powdered sugar and happily sitting in the Denali watching an episode of "Red v. Blue" when the carney popped up from the other side of the window "Hellooooooooooooooooo!' he boomed - scaring me into almost dropping my deep-fried-dough. He grinned at us with his four teeth and then moved on to the next car.

6. After getting ready for bed and spending an extra ten minutes trying to scrub the sugar off of my teeth, I plopped into bed and said: "This house is gross. It's dirty. Let's move." Harry reached down, grabbed my leg and began rubbing my chubby little foot. "I still want to move..." I said grumpily and fell asleep with my leg still propped up on his abdomen.