Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Hollyisms...

More things I want to do RIGHT NOW:

1. Take off my shoes and shuffle 'round the office, working up enough static electricity to shock the socks off the managing partner.

2. Open up all the sodas in the fridge - put'em back.

3. Empty ice cubes - fill with pen caps and water - refreeze.

4. Lube up all door handles and file drawers with Lotion.

5. Leave.

6. Arm myself with two tubes of canned air. Walk around the office, bow-legged, delivering blasts of air to the face of any who dare question me and then shout: "GLAUCOMA!"

7. Open my umbrella and sit at my desk. Wait until someone asks me what the hell I'm doing and then make a big show of checking for rain, huffing and putting it away.

8. Make a sign that says "RECEPTIONIST IS AWAY - PLEASE LEAVE GIFTS OF FOOD OR JEWELRY AS AN OFFERING."

9. Sidenote: This is something that happened this morning and I just remembered it so - into the blog it goes! Phoebe the Cat was making out with her hairbrush beau this morning while I was applying my second (third?) coat of Maybelline to my eyes. I then noticed she was squirming and twisting. WTF? Somehow, the brush had gotten caught on her collar and the bell around her neck and was now smacking her in her little flat face with every move she made - domestic violence! I watched for a second (it was REALLY funny) and then disentangled her and put her boyfriend back in his drawer. She then started licking my knee.

Hey, we all make sacrifices!

10. Oh - one more thing! I enter time for the older attorney here and I mistyped something rather badly: "What's this?" he had shuffled up to my desk and pointed at the time listing sheet in his hand.

I stopped typing, took the paper and - burst out laughing: "Received Sex of State Registration." He laughed andsaid "I thought it was from the Sec. of State, but who am I to argue!"

1 comment:

princesssaurora said...

LOL... at least the atty had a sense of humor!  I had a cat when I was younger that loved hairbrushes!  lol

be well,
Dawn