Tuesday, June 13, 2006

BAD Receptionist! BAD, BAD Receptionist!

I had to stay late in a meeting with a lawyerman so that he could tell me that the two recently departed secretaries left "amicably." He used that horrendous word no less than five times and by the fifth I was less than amicable - I was f'n pissed. Ten minutes into my lunch the "talk" ended and I was dismissed.

I, reasonably enough, did not come back from lunch until 12:40 - taking my ten minutes back from "the man."

Apparently the Lone Secretary whom has a food disorder that leaves her sniffing the chocolates in the candy bowl --- and putting them back told the office manager (she of designer imposter shoes, handbags, rings, things and face) that I was late and then whined that she couldn't leave yet.

Which lead to me being reminded that "lunch is to be taken from 11:30 - 12:30."

"Well,  tell people to quit calling me into meetings when I'm supposed to be to lunch, then." I said.

"It wasn't that late."

"Yes, it was," I responded - staring up into her lines, wrinkles and folds.

"Oh - well. With the way things are around here... You know... With only one secretary..." she flipped her wrist towards me. I fought the urge to rip it from its socket.

I chose to just raise my eyebrows and nod slowly in response. She giggled nervously and walked away.

My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to destroy the human toothpick by making her gain weight a la "Mean Girls." Second, I shall slowly drive the office manager insane. I think I've got a good head start on the last one...

"Amicable," huh? We'll see about that...

1 comment:

tenyearnap said...

My best work pal called me around Easter to tell me that she did this to the department manager. Maybe it will work for you in your quest to drive the bitch nuts:

Using a red magic marker, draw yourself some stigmata in the appropriate places. You know: hands, feet, side of stomach just under ribs...yes, you got it? Good. Now, go into your boss's office and say you have a pain in your side...and now in your feet...and head...and hands...and show your boss your stigmata. This is more realistic if you have some fake blood to trickle down the wounds.