I had to stay late in a meeting with a lawyerman so that he could tell me that the two recently departed secretaries left "amicably." He used that horrendous word no less than five times and by the fifth I was less than amicable - I was f'n pissed. Ten minutes into my lunch the "talk" ended and I was dismissed.
I, reasonably enough, did not come back from lunch until 12:40 - taking my ten minutes back from "the man."
Apparently the Lone Secretary whom has a food disorder that leaves her sniffing the chocolates in the candy bowl --- and putting them back told the office manager (she of designer imposter shoes, handbags, rings, things and face) that I was late and then whined that she couldn't leave yet.
Which lead to me being reminded that "lunch is to be taken from 11:30 - 12:30."
"Well, tell people to quit calling me into meetings when I'm supposed to be to lunch, then." I said.
"It wasn't that late."
"Yes, it was," I responded - staring up into her lines, wrinkles and folds.
"Oh - well. With the way things are around here... You know... With only one secretary..." she flipped her wrist towards me. I fought the urge to rip it from its socket.
I chose to just raise my eyebrows and nod slowly in response. She giggled nervously and walked away.
My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to destroy the human toothpick by making her gain weight a la "Mean Girls." Second, I shall slowly drive the office manager insane. I think I've got a good head start on the last one...
"Amicable," huh? We'll see about that...