Following Doctor's orders I woke up this morning and took a Pepcid OTC (aka - "too frickin' expensive over-the-counter stomach pill"). I overslept - so I decided to make something and take it to work with me. Opening up my refridgerator I see sweets and tons of fruit and veggies - all things I can't have.
So I decide that peanut butter is a safe option. "Can't be too bad for you," I think and pull out my fave: JIF - Super Chunk. Oh yeah! Slapping it on a piece of bread (after carefully looking for green spots - when the hell'd I buy bread?) I then paused. "Can I have jelly?" I wondered aloud. I pulled open the doors and found Strawberry Jam. "It's sugar free - I'm sure it's fiiiiiine!" I convince myself and slap a small amount on to the bread, plop it in a Ziploc bag and shimmy out the door.
Climbing into Jumbo the Denali I notice the print-out from yesterday where I'd googled "Foods to Avoid, Ulcer." Glancing at it I notice that, like I thought, Peanut Butter is okay - just not chunky. Ooops. Jelly, too, is good - just not strawberry. Double oops.
So now I'm at work, eating my "illegal" sandwich slowly, as if by slowing down the ingestion process will render the food less "illegal" than before.
Day one of my Bland Diet and I'm already cheating.
This does not bode well for Mr. Doctorman. Nor my precious gallbladder.
My lunch plans? Me, Jumbo, a plain grilled chicken sandwich and a potato.
(Smiling with pained expression): "Yum!"
Update: It's actually PRILOSEC OTC, not PEPCID OTC. I blame lack of proper nutrition. I really think all the fatty and greasy foods kept me quick-witted and wiley.