Monday, September 18, 2006

Wow, What a Weekend!

A list of things that happened over my "Wow, what a weekend!" weekend:

1.  Saturday morning I roll out of bed and start wandering around the bathroom, zombie-like, until we leave the house - AT EIGHT A.M.!  We have to be in Beckley to get the head unit in the Denali fixed by 10.  Why?  Because the other branches of the store where the monitor was purchased just closed up shop and left.  Didn't even bother to call.  Bastardheads...  Anyway - so we go to Beckley to the beautiful "Crossroads Mall."  Sounds scary and a little like the title to a B-grade Horror flick doesn't it?  "And they were never seen again..."  So we have to wander around the "mall"  (A "Garfield's" a "JCPenney" and a "Hallmark" doesn not a mall make..." And I'm happy to find headbands that don't hurt my head and cute black draped shirt with  a 3/4 length cardigan (the latter of which totaled  $4!!!!).  We get back to the car stereo place and they haven't switched head units - they've only swapped out the brain. 

Harry's not satisfied.

So he rips off the dash and starts dismantling the stereo.  I kid you not.  It was the funniest damn thing I'd seen in weeks. 

The other guys started scrambling to help and I hopped in the back seat - fearing shrapnel. 

Finally, Harry's happy - so everyone's happy.  But Lord help the tiny redneck install guy when my beloved's ears happened to hear - static.  Off came the dash again and off I flew to the backseat to cower.  

It was funny.  And a bit scary...

2.  The Fall Fest officially ended on Saturday night.  Drats - only managed to consume three funnel cakes.  I will try harder next year...

3.  I wake up too early on Sunday morning and go downstairs to sit in my too-cool tv room (it has red walls and accents of lime green, brown and orange.  Groovy, man, groooovy).  I am watching "Sky High" a movie that I love, for some reason, and watch it anytime it's on.  I'm halfway done folding my brand new bright turquoise Tommy Hilfiger towels (on sale - $7 for bath sheets and sooooo soft!) when Harry comes downstairs.  In the space of ten mintues he's laying next to me, cuddled on my arm and then, somehow - on top of me.   Doing nothing - just laying there.  So - I try to enjoy the rest of the movie - with a large man laying on me. 

4.  While at the Crossroads Mall in Beckley I pick up a book and snort with laughter.  Carrying it under my arm I walk up to Harry and say "Hey, think someone might've missed the mark on this one?"  I then held up the book entitled "Depression for Dummies."  I just had to laugh thinking about the person writing the book "Snap out of it - you're not depressed ya dummy!"

5.  I was getting ready this morning - sitting in the floor of the bathroom, carefully and artfully applying green eyeshadow when Harry comes up behind me, pulls out his gel deodorant and starts clicking away.  He was three clicks into it when I heard "oops!" and felt a glop of something hit the back of my freshly washed, newly straightened hair.  "What was that?" I asked.

I look up to see Harry, staring, open-mouthed at the back of my head.  He swiped his underarms and then made a bee-line for the open door, giggling like some kid who got caught doing something wrong. 

I wiped the goop out of my hair and am now sitting at work - every once in a while catching whiffs of "Fresh Sport Scent."  Grrr.

6.  Coming to work this morning I get out of my car and walk in the path of a very large black man mowing the grass.  I wave at him and smile, thanking him for not running me over with his John Deere.  He says "Good morning" and we exchange pleasantries.  So imagine my surprise when I'm walking away and hear a low whistle followed by an appreciative "Mmm-mmm!"  I should've been offended - but it really wasn't his fault  - I have a poofy posterior and it can be quite entrancing to those who, ahem, "like big butts" and cannot lie....  hee hee

7.  Yesterday was my parent's 30-something wedding anniversary (neither can remember exactly what year they were married - I blame the lead paint that used to coat the walls of my childhood home).  And today is my mother's 58th birthday.  So - when I hit the big 3-0 - I will have someone to share my pain - only more so! 

8.  Harry was playing with Phoebe on the bed Saturday. She seemed a little more grumpy than usual (it's hard to tell with her squishy face if she's really mad or just made that way) - so when she hissed at him and beat him about the hands and arms with her massive paws - I couldn't help but laugh.  

9.  Harry and I had to find curtain rods for our brown drapes.   We went to Lowe's, Home Depot, back to Lowe's and then to Linen's and Things to find the perfect rod.  However, now that we have them  - we're hesitant to mar the pretty fresh paint with holes!  So - instead  - we ripped them from their packagings and held them up to each window, trying to decide what to do with them in the near future...

10.  While waiting for Harry to re-assemble his dash - again - one of the guys came to sit next to me on the wall where I was perched reading "CT Yankee" by Twain.   I looked up from my page to see the back of a security guard drive by in a brand-new Jeep with the word "SECURITY" written on the side.  "This mall's security has new Jeeps to drive around in?"

"Yup" said little redneck man, "I installed the light bar on it for them."

"Oh!" I said, happy to have something to add to the conversation, "I was looking at Renegades the other day and they come equipped with a real, working light bar, too! I love it! So rugged!"

He looked at me funny and then got up to see if Harry had fixed the static sound. 

A few minutes later - the Jeep drove back by - with his blue and white lights flashing in their light bar rack on the roof.   

"Oh!"  I said to myself.  "That's why he looked at me like I was a weirdo!"  I chuckled and went back to reading. 


And that was my weekend in a nutshell.  No one died, no one was maimed at Home Depot (this time) and I even managed to have fun. 

For lunch I will be going to a Mexican place and consuming a large bowl of cheese dip. 

Mustn't disappoint the lawnmower man!


1 comment:

madysauntie said...

ROFL!!! Holly got Jungle Feva'! Jungle Feva'! Ha Ha!

Get'em wit dat junk in da trunk, gurl!

(ok, and now for the white folks.... Have fun with your big behind)

Hee hee....