Monday, July 31, 2006

License to Kill, Oops, I Mean - DRIVE.

After dragging myself across the parking lot and climbing into my 1,000 degree SUV and cursing my choice of black pants, black sweater and black glasses - I tentatively ease my elephant car into the alley. I have to swing wide in order not to take out the car parked next to me. I'm concentrating on being perfectly aware of my side, front and, just in case, my back when - ZOOOOOM! A tiny gold Honda races down the one-way alley. I stand on my brakes, curse like a newbie sailor with fresh tats, and ease out into the street.

The Honda has stopped in the middle of the alley - pulled into a spot and is now backing up to head towards me - the wrong way down a one way street.

I refuse to move.

Let's just size up this situation.

I'm in a big black Denali.

I am huge.

Hear me roar, Honda-bug. I'll squish you.

Squishy, squishy, squash.

So I don't move. I keep meandering down the alley - forcing the Honda to retreat and pull back into a vacant spot.

I have won the game of chicken.

Bok, bok, baby. :)

4 comments:

gazker said...

Greetings from the UK, your journal cracks me up! Bring it on.........Death to all Honda bugs ;-)

tenyearnap said...

Why the hell are you wearing a sweater? In the West Virginia summer? You are soooo blonde today, aren't you?
XOXO from freaking Utah.

pippa1116 said...

good for you!

psychfun said...

HA! I love this one! I have a Saturn VUE...smaller but I LOVE it! I did have a Z24 & so it is quite different. No more Zoom, Zoom feeling like before but I like being higher. This sounds like a great commercial! Can you imagine how they could make it! Better than some of them god awful car commercials!