ME:"Good Afternoon, Thank you for calling (all these stupid names I have to say in a row until pretty stars show up and start dancing in front of my eyes oooh pretty colors!l)!" Holly hyperventilates, hits the floor and bounces back with the greatest of ease!
HIM:"Yes. Mr. Lawyerman please."
ME: "Mr. Lawyerman isn't available - may I have him call you back?"
HIM: "Yes. This is the message: I have left my office. You must call my cell phone so that I can give you the email address and have the documents arrive before my arrival." I got none of that mess. I'll shorten it.
ME: "Got it - call you before he emails."
HIM: "No. That wasn't what I said." This man has no idea that I have access to his business information. I can squash him like an ooey gooey bug. Or at least sic the IRS on him...
ME: "Oh. Okay. What did you say?"
HIM: "He must call me on my cell because I am not at my office so that I can give him the email address where I'll be to send the documents."
ME: "Oh - got it." Oh yes! That's sooo friggin' different than what I said. Oh - there's the difference - you like to hear yourself talk and I don't. At all. Asshead.