Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Yakkity Yak, Don't Talk Back!

I'm a horrible person. The office manager's brother is in here and he's sitting on the couch trying to make conversation.

I don't like her - so ergo - I don't like her family.

But it's actually more complicated than that.

Her family calls ALLLLLLL the time and asks the assanine questions that all receptionists loathe: "How long has she been on the phone?" "How much longer will she be on the phone?" "Wonder how long she's been gone?" I bite my tongue, resisting the urge to shout at them "I'M NOT F'N PSYCHIC YA DUMBASS!" and tell them to call back.

"What - ya had a leak or somethin'?" he asks me in that too thick accent of his (and that's saying a lot considering where I'M from).

I have no clue what he's talking about.

"Huh?" I ask - barely looking up from my computer screen.

"Do you have a LEAK?!" he yells at me, pointing to the fan in the 1000 degree conference room.

"Uh, no. It's HOT in there. That's why there's a fan. In there. Because it's HOT." So take off all your clothes! ACK! NO! Where the HELL did that thought come from?! Ewwww!

Finally, after fielding twenty questions coming very close to "Why's the sky blue?" he finally moseys back to his sister's (? one can't be positive...) office.

And leaving me here - angrily typing out a post to my blog. Simultaneously living up to every single receptionist/office worker stereotype out there.

Now - where's my nail file???

1 comment:

dpoem said...

Now, there's a lot of huff about this so-called Maravingian blood-line ala The DaVinci Code, but there is a much more socially damaging bloodline out there.  It is the bloodline of those I refer to as "The Stupids."  They are lethally annoying bastards, and to make matters worse, they are breeding like rabbits.  

So, Holly, it's our perogative as Smart People to have as many children as we possibly can so as to nudge these Stupids into a minority where they can then be marginalized and ignored.  

Unfortunately, our society protects The Stupids by putting warning labels on EVERYTHING!