Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Lover's Lament

Cindy, a friend of mine, has got me thinking about lost loves.  Those loves that parted from us, never to return.  But what happens after a love is lost?  What are we to do?

Being married - my biggest fear (besides hair spiders and attacking Himalayan kitties) is that my hubby will leave me for a better person (something I have never claimed to be) who knows how to make chicken without a gallon of frying oil and who can do laundry without forgetting about clothes in the washer (ew - stinky!). 

In reality, though, I've only ever been dumped once.  But it was a doozy.  He was not worthy of my time, but I kept trying to make him into something - else.  For three years I attempted to sculpt him from a skinny, chip-toothed, redneck into a khaki-wearing preppy redneck.  Didn't happen.  And I can see now that trying to change a person into what you want rather than being happy with what you have - never works.  Anyway, I was in college and he came to my house, told me he was a gi-normous liarhead and that he was seeing someone else - and her kid.

Devastated - I tossed an 8x10 at his head.  In the frame. 

Took me awhile to get over that one.  But I will admit - when he called me outta the blue a year into his marriage to the lopsided tramp who broke us up and told me she cheated on him - I was gleeful. And then a little sad - for him - since I was sooooooo completely unavailable!!!

At this point I was in  wonderful relationship with a loving, caring, funny man who liked me for me and who didn't need to be molded into anything.  I loved him and his crazy long hair and Metallica obsession.  He liked fast cars. He liked good food.   And he really liked me.  

I was happy. Am happy.  Even if he can't decide on what knobs to put in the kitchen: "Do you like the white ones? These? How about these? Colors?  Whattayathink? The white?"  hee hee

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