Wednesday, May 3, 2006

"B-U-T-T - phone home???"

My cell phone rang while I was at work yesterday evening. This annoys me because, number one, it's always Harry "forgetting" to call me at the office and, number two, Harry Potter starts asking me to the ball - repeatedly (my ring tone was changed by an evil man and I can't figure out how to change it back).

"Hey, dork! Call me on my work number!" I say into my phone in lieu of a greeting.


"Helllloooo! Babycakes? Harrrryyyyy! Hellllloooo!" At this point I'm being quite loud, thinking that the connection in Morefield, WV has got to be something akin to two cans and some twine.

Still nothing.

"Harrrrrrrry! BABY! HELLLLLLLOOOOO?!" I'm yelling now.

Nothing - then - I hear rustling and - he hangs up on me.

I'm fuming and ready to fashion a hubby-like voodoo doll out of post-its, an old beanie bear and some tape when he calls me back.

I answer the phone at work and before I can even spit out the five names that I must repeat a zillion times a day - I hear laughter. Loud laughing, sniggers and out right peals of it are pouring through the receiver.

"I sat on my phone and it called you." My hubby says to me.

"So... your butt called me?"

"Yes. My butt called you," he confirms.

The laughter in the back ground reaches a fervor. "We were all sitting here and all of a sudden I heard a woman's voice. We looked around to see where it was coming from - and-"

I cut him off, "It was coming from your pants."

"Yes," he said sheepishly. "I'm going to go now. Everyone's laughing at me and I'm turning red so - love you!"

"I love you, too" I can't help but laugh - no one's ass has ever felt the need to "reach out and touch" me before.

I feel special.

Oh - and this blog is dedicated to Tiffany and Stacey who, after cunningly trying to destroy their phones with beverages, still couldn't get out of helping me paint last night!  Even when my grandmother reached out for Stacey's leg, pulling it backwards so that she looked like a tanned Flamingo to get the paint off of her foot, "I'm shoein' a horse!" she said with glee.

And - Kudos to Stacey for not dumpin' the cup of paint in her hands over my granny's 98 lb form and 10 lb hair.

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