Summer, my dear sweet, ADD-riddled sister, called me at work yesterday: "Youjustgotacreepyletter. Ithinkit'sgottheAnthrax."
My response: "Huh?"
"Someonesentyoualetterbutit'sopened. It'sempty. NowI'mitchy. It'sgottheAnthrax."
I'm at work and trying to figure out 1) what the hell she's talking about and 2) who would send me a letter at my parent's house with my maiden name on it.
"It came empty?" I felt like I was playing twenty questions. And losing.
"YesitcameemptyandI'mitchy. So - whowantstokillyou? Creepy!"
I hung up and stared at the name and address she'd given me : Robert Conn 727 3rd Avenue, Huntington WV 304-523-2105. I'd gathered that most psycho stalkers generally don't 1) include their return address and phone number and 2) usually employ stalking techniques against much prettier, much skinnier and much less attainable objects of lust than I.
I decided it must've been hate mail instead.
I go to www.superpages.com which instantly locks up on me. Finally I get www.yellowpages.com to load for me. The anticipation of finding out where this came from is killing me - so I dial the number provided while I wait for the screen to load.
The name finally pops up: NAVY RECRUITING STATION.
I laugh and giggle and then call sis back and tell her the good news.
"So - thenavysentyoutheanthrax?" she asked. "Thegovernment'stryingtokillyounow? What'dyoudo?"
And THAT my friends is why flouride should be removed from tap water - and Ritilin added.