Bachlorette Parties are FUNNY!

After finally arriving at the Ashland Plaza Hotel with a snazzy "I'm Not Really a Waitress" nail polish manicure, the fun began.  The "naughty tupperware" party began and we all had to do "truth or dare".  Some dares were stupid, others were downright orgasmic - either way - I was happy when it was over and I could wash all the "fun" sticky sweets off my body (we tested ten different "edible' body paints, glitters, stimulators and such).   Don't get me wrong - it was too fun and Tffany had taken the time to pin up Playgirl "hey - look - there's my penis" pictures all over the room and under each toilet seat. 

I was going to stay and  enjoy some more fun times with the girls, but I decided to pack up my little blue suitcase and come on home.  At 2 AM I end up in the middle of a DUI checkpoint.  Seeing as how I'd only downed sodas - I wasn't concerned.

Cute officer man looked at me and said :  "Hello, ma'am- would you like to take some time to answer a few questions about underage drinking?" He was a hottie and before I could start penning my letters to penthouse, I said: "Do I have to?"

Cursing my lack of wit and hoping he didn't notice my face, glinting with moonlight and - no make-up.  "No, ma'am.  It's strictly voluntary."  He said politely.

"Oh - well.  I think I'll skip it.  I'm not even wearing a brasierre!"  I chuckled and felt the fire burn my face.  I hadn't even considered that confessing my lack of "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder" might actually get me frisked (hmm!) but the fact that I shared this fact with a copper and used the elderly term of "brasierre"!   UGH!

So - he patted my hand, much like he would to his grandma and said "You get on home..."

I must face facts - I'll never be in Penthouse Forum...

Sigh....

Unless...   Okay - I'm off to call a tv repairman, a plumber and a pizza boy!