Friday, November 10, 2006

Bachlorette Parties are FUNNY!

After finally arriving at the Ashland Plaza Hotel with a snazzy "I'm Not Really a Waitress" nail polish manicure, the fun began.  The "naughty tupperware" party began and we all had to do "truth or dare".  Some dares were stupid, others were downright orgasmic - either way - I was happy when it was over and I could wash all the "fun" sticky sweets off my body (we tested ten different "edible' body paints, glitters, stimulators and such).   Don't get me wrong - it was too fun and Tffany had taken the time to pin up Playgirl "hey - look - there's my penis" pictures all over the room and under each toilet seat. 

I was going to stay and  enjoy some more fun times with the girls, but I decided to pack up my little blue suitcase and come on home.  At 2 AM I end up in the middle of a DUI checkpoint.  Seeing as how I'd only downed sodas - I wasn't concerned.

Cute officer man looked at me and said :  "Hello, ma'am- would you like to take some time to answer a few questions about underage drinking?" He was a hottie and before I could start penning my letters to penthouse, I said: "Do I have to?"

Cursing my lack of wit and hoping he didn't notice my face, glinting with moonlight and - no make-up.  "No, ma'am.  It's strictly voluntary."  He said politely.

"Oh - well.  I think I'll skip it.  I'm not even wearing a brasierre!"  I chuckled and felt the fire burn my face.  I hadn't even considered that confessing my lack of "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder" might actually get me frisked (hmm!) but the fact that I shared this fact with a copper and used the elderly term of "brasierre"!   UGH!

So - he patted my hand, much like he would to his grandma and said "You get on home..."

I must face facts - I'll never be in Penthouse Forum...


Unless...   Okay - I'm off to call a tv repairman, a plumber and a pizza boy!


psychfun said...

HA! Hysterical! I never heard that phrase for a bra! HA! Dang if he was a hottie I would have told him what you guys were doing all night! HA! Tell him he could of made some extra Christmas $ if he knew how to dance! You know how ladies like uniforms! ;-) I'm wondering what he was going to ask you on underage drinking??? Why not ask the underaged?

tenyearnap said...

"Do I have to, Officer Hottie? Because I really need to get my naked boobies home now." No, you will never be in Penthouse Forum. Ha haahaaaa. This is just so cute.

rebuketheworld said...

Hey I would never be in Penthouse I have little boobs and a big enough butt where their anorexia beauties would be

I am sure the officer got a chuckle in that...he just restrained himself because he was in your humor Holly....-Raven

ravenjuiced said...

That's when you bust out with the Mae West, "Is that a gun in your holster or are you just happy to see me?"


lewisdella4 said...

Holly, this is too funny.  You should  have told him what you'd been up to all evening that would have probably got you at least a grope or two...of course Harry wouldn't have been amused...but then, we don't need to tell our hubbies everything, do we?

princesssaurora said...

LOL... Did you miss Harry and were horny after all the sex toys?  lol

be well,