Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Welcome to MORE of My Life

Here's some more tid-bits from the life of Holly:

1. I went through the horror, the humiliation, the "holy crap my ass crack is visible to all" of having my annual girlie exam. I wore the paper dress. I sat on a cold metal slab for over an hour waiting to get poked in my privates (and not in a fun way) all the while shredding my gown out of nervousness. So when my dr's office called and said that they needed to repeat the test due to a lack of suffient number of cells collected (in other words - I was fine, but they wanted MORE "fine" cells to prove it) and would NOT pay for the cost of a repeat exam - I laughed. I laughed like a crazy person. Wiping the tears from my reddened eyes, I politely declined their intimate request.

2. I went to a bridal fair on Sunday. I have never so badly wanted to accost someone for their heart "I'm a bride" sticker. I resisted the urge. Being happily married only sucks in that you will never be a fiancee again. At least hopefully not.

3. I sometimes look up people from tv shows I used to watch a long time ago - like "Salute Your Shorts" and "Swanns Crossing." I found that if you can't hack it in Hollywood, you end up in a Garage Band. The horrors. The horrors.

4. I keep Shout Wipes in my drawer at work for post-lunch emergencies. It's sad that I have to keep a bib in my car. And it's even more sad that it's in the laundry today and I'm wearing a white blouse.

5. I watched some of "Chaotic" with Britney Spears and Kevin F-word. The horrors. The horrors.

6. I bitched, moaned, complained and whined like a two-year old without a McDonald's fix when I had to get up early on Saturday morning so that Harry could get the new Nike 360's. He tried them on, loved them, bought them without even looking at the $160.00 price tag. As we were leaving with him happily swinging his Finish Line bag to and from, I spot the women's version. A gorgeous combo of turquoise, silver and hot pink. What would it hurt to try them on? We walk out of the store with me happily swinging my bag full of expensive running shoes and Harry mourning his checking account behind me.

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