Monday, April 10, 2006

Weighing in on a Hefty Topic

Dr. Phil once said, "People who overeat are replacing what they need with food." Okay - so maybe he didn't say that but I'm sure that he has said, at some time in his "doctor" career, something like that. Besides, he's so full of himself, I bet if you cut him in half, another, smaller version of Dr. Phil would pop out like a Russian Nesting Doll.

Anyway - moving ON.

I think that, in order for anyone to successfully lose excess poundage one has to figure out the "trigger" that causes those of us with issues to jump on an eclair like it's the elixir of life.

Sometimes it can be emotional holes or voids that we, as the chubby population, are trying to fill with pizzas, cakes, pies, deep-fried hot dogs and the like.

Maybe I'm nervous-eating. Perhaps my entire obsession with devouring the delights of ill-repute is a simple nervous habit that can be broken like nail-biting (which I do) or hair twirling (guilty).

Or maybe I'm just freakin' too lazy to drag my ass upstairs, plop it into my recumbent bike and start pedaling.

Either way - I eat until my jowls are filled like a squirrel on "Last Nut of the Earth" day and something has to give.

And not just my future in elastic-wasteband pants.



By the way - If you see me in stretch pants walking along the side of the road - even if I'm exercising and my shiny jubilant face is glowing - Kill me.

Just hit me with your car, keep driving and know that you have rid the earth of the unsightly fashion disaster that is : stretch pants.

Shudder, shudder....

1 comment:

tenyearnap said...

Oh god, I think spaghetti came out my nose. "Dr." Phil cracking open and a Mini-Phil coming out.