What does one do when one is nearing thirty and still fighting against all odds to be an adult? And what does this same one do if the idea of being an adult is so scary that it makes "Saw II" look like a Disney film?
Upon first hearing that old Britney Spears song (pre K-Fed) "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" I thought it was pop drivel. Now? I kinda get it.
And now that I've found a link to a barefoot, white trash prima-donna with a weird flip-flop fetish - I'm going to bed to join my snoring hubby who crashed around 9:30, face-first in to our King bed after being mediator between me and my mother, who refuses to believe that neither my sister nor I are capable of making our own decisions. Much less, the right ones.
I'm obviously annoyed right now.
Annoyed with wondering where a family unit ends and an individual begins.
Annoyed with where my life is and really annoyed that my double chin seems to be growing a friend.
So - I'm off to comfort eat a bag of bagels and a vat of cream cheese.
I just hope that I am not found, 6am, passed out on the dirty white tile, crumbs trailing down my massive boobies and a cream cheese mustache to boot.
Sigh.
1 comment:
I understand that the gun laws in West Virginia are pretty loose. Pick up a pistol, and the next time Mom gets on your case, pull it out and wave it around a bit (you may even have to fire a shot or two into the air to get her attention). Trust me, guns are a quick and easy way to settle just about any argument.
Then again, if your mom counters with a larger gun, you might want to save your money for a while. I think the prices on black market ICBM's have really started to come down (marginally faster than a plasma TV even!).
Of course, you could always take the easiest way --I know I do-- and resort to bio-warfare. I invite my parents over and invite them to sample things in my fridge. Trust me, just dress it up with some fresh parsley, and they won't realize that after one bite, they've lost the argument. They just smile and say things like "My word! This green-cheese and hot-dog casserole is really tasty."
-Dan
http://journals.aol.com/dpoem/TheWisdomofaDistractedMind/
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