Open Mouth, Insert Size 9 Foot...

A snippet of the drama that unfolded as we tried to make it back to WV from Hawaii:

As I sat in the front seat of the ambulance and breathed in the familiar smells of antiseptic and near-death experiences, I found my eyes wandering over the landscape in front of me.  The bus bumped over the backroad of the airport as we followed a safety truck with a flashing yellow light bar announcing our transit to the nearest hospital.  In the back, Harry answered questions about his grandmother's usually good health, as he and the EMT tried to figure out why she fainted in row fifteen of the 737 as we taxi'd down the runway.

"Do you find it a little odd that the safety truck has a tail light out?"  I asked the cute paramedic who was driving the ambulance. 

"Wow," he said, his dimples deepening into his tanned face. "That's very observant of you.  I'm impressed!"  He smiled at me and I basked in the glory of my smartness in light of the rather detrimental situation unfolding in the back of the bus. 

"Thanks,"  I said and gazed at the buildings on the horizon as they blurred past.  "Well, I haven't been to Atlanta in some time.  It's kinda nice to be back here - even if it is under these bad circumstances."  I giggled and shrugged.

"Um, was that where you were headed on the plane?  To Atlanta?" he asked, looking a bit concerned.  "Because you're in San Francisco."

"Oh. Ha. Ugh."  I really need to learn to stop talking after someone compliments my intelligence because, sure enough, as soon as I open my big mouth again, some sort of idiotic verbal spewage will dribble down my chubby chin.