Sunday, July 8, 2007

I'm Such a TOOL.

It happened again. 

I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did.

I ended up at a TOOL concert. 

"But - I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO GO BY YOURSELF!" I sobbed into Harry's ever-moistening t-shirt.  My  head throbbed and my stomach was doing its best to gyrate from my body.  I sniffed and continued to wail.

"Why are you crying?"  Harry asked, stroking my hair as we idled in the car.  

"I DON'T KNOW!"  When I get a headache  - a bad one - sometimes I have problems communicating - or controlling my emotions.  "I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO GO TO THE CONCERT AND SIT ALONE!" 

Three hours later, Harry and I are sitting in Row J of the Big Sandy Superstore Arena awaiting a band I'd been a pseudo fan of since 1996.  Listening to the guy beside me, I was psyched, if not a bit woozy from the massive amount of Tylenol I had previously ingested. 

When the music started I was extremely happy for the earplugs Harry forced into my pocket as he dragged me to his car.  Then the lead singer guy took the stage wearing a bright orange sweatshirt, a cowboy hat and started doing some odd backwards swimming dance and a move taken straight from "Coyote Ugly" I was very pleased.  However, four songs, three overdone intervals and one too many videos featuring gray-bodied anatomically incorrect people pulling Mini-me worms from their stomachs, I was bored. 

So I started people watching and reflecting upon the crowd mentality.  Everyone seemed to be genuinely excited to what amounted to a live music video with scenes flashing on multiple screens above the stage but I wanted more.  I wanted to be entertained. 

I got my wish. 


A young couple landed in the row in front of us and immediately started writhing in unison.  As the soft core reached its peak, the guy, with his scarecrow hair and skinny arms began flailing as he ate the small woman's face.  He licked her cheek. Grabbed her face.  And then, teeth be damned, slammed some kisses on her mouth.  I found it hilarious.  I hadn't seen that ameuterish amount of making out since high school. 

"WANNA LEAVE AND SEE 'TRANSFORMERS' AGAIN?"  I yelled to Harry in between fits of giggles. 

And just when I thought "Mr. Eatsherface" couldn't do anything else to shock me, he whipped off his t-shirt and wound it around his head like a sweaty turban.  I lost it and slid down in to my plastic seat with a snort. 

"You owe me," I said to Harry when it was over.

"I know," he said as he hugged me, "I know."

And then he had to take pictures at a wedding shower today, so, yeah, we're pretty much even!


princesssaurora said...

I went to see Transformers for a second time tonight!  It rocked... again!  

LOL Glad you punished Harry with the picture duty!  LOL

be well,

gazker said...

Seeing as this little Brit hasn't even heard of 'TOOL' I can't realy comment except for the fact that Harry, owes you big time!
If ya realy want to get back at him, make him wear those HIDEOUS underpants (weren't they red and orange?) over his trousers to work for a day.
Trust me.............. You will never have to sit through a tool concert again!
Gaz xxx

easuess said...

LOL Yeah, I'd say you were even. :)

tenyearnap said...

I cannot watch those Tool videos....gross! --Cin