My would-be delivery date came and went. I pretended not to notice it. Pretended not to feel that itchy and prickling notion that was teasing the back of my brain. I was hoping to forget. I went to work, I came home, I laughed, I smiled, felt the grins reach my eyes but still waited for the day to be over.
No one really said anything and we pretended it didn't matter even though I knew that it kinda did. Hallmark just doesn't make cards that say "Sorry your fetus died - but have a great day!" or "You would've been a great mom - buckup and have fun trying again!" or even a "Miscarriage? It's okay - you would've dropped it on its head anyway..." But really - they should make those cards - especially for those of us with wildly inappropriate senses of humor.
However, my sister, the one who has always been there for me through nightmares about people putting tape on my head (not sure, either) and rubbed my legs when I struggled with the beginning of a rather complicated and long-winded lympatic disorder and she who seems to always forget things as soon as they are shoved into her already over-crowded, ADD-riddled brain dropped off a tiny pink package at my house.
There, in front of my television (where she knew I wouldn't miss it!) was this little gift bag with crisp white paper poking from it. A note tucked inside was written on with her flailing scrawl:
A butterfly lights beside us, Like a sunbeam and for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world... but then it flies on again and although we wish it could have stayed, we aer so thankful to have seen it at all...
Another note read:
Sometimes miracles arrive so tiny that we cannot feel the weight of them and yet we are still cahnged and we are blessed none the less.
A small box was cradled within the pink bag. Inside was a round mother of pearl necklace representing what would have been a new birthstone and a new title for me.
It's one of the most wonderful and thoughtful gifts I've ever received and it made me realize, more than ever, how much I love my sister.
So even though there are no plans on the rather rainy horizon (really? More rain? Seriously - I am DONE with precipitation!) Harry and I have vowed to consider the possibility of trying for a Harry the IV within the next year. And if it doesn't stick that time, well, I'm sure I can adopt one from another country.. or from Brad and Angelina - I'm sure they won't miss one of theirs...
(Me, Tiff and Sis)