When my friend, Julie, invited Harry and I to watch the Oscar De LaHoya and Mayweather fight last Saturday I readily agreed. Did I really want to sit for an unspecified amount of time and watch the carnage as one guy beat the crap outta the other guy for a ghastly amount of money - no. But I did want to see Johnny and Julie and their baby Brandon who is so cute he looks more like a cartoon character than a real boy (and bounces like one, too).
I met Johnny's cousin Michael, too. He's a something-degree black belt and was more than a little excited to show us his fighting videos. He smileda Cheshire cat grin and plopped a laptop onto the unsuspecting female to his right. "Wanna see my video?" he said ominously. Amanda looked at him, doubt crossing her pretty petite features.
"Is it suitable?" she asked.
He pushed play and we watched as Michael showed clips of his "training" of young Karate students. Each one approached him wearing padding and, unfortunately, large red targets painted on their chests.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! "Wait - is that a girl?" Amanda asked as she pointed to the screen. "Yeah, but I didn't hit her hard!" Michael said.
WHAP! "Well - that time I did," he added sheepishly.
As the opening fights on tv drew to a close and the uberexpensive seats started to fill ringside, I could see Tobey McGuire and Leonardo DiCarprio sitting together. I was like "Ooh, they're like real people!' I gushed to the crowd that had gathered around the tv. Luckily, I was ignored. After Marc Anthony finished a surprisingly well-sung rendition of the National Anthem, he and his stoic wife, Jennifer Lopez, took their seats a few down from Spidey and the "King of the World" boy.
I quickly lost interest in the celebrities du jour as the fight started and the two athletes began circling each other in the tiny ring. I was expected to be horrified. I was expected to be bored. I was expected to be falling asleep and drooling on my rooting husband. Instead - I loved it. It was like the Demolition Derby I attended in High School where grown men smashed their cars against the other in rapid succession. Only this time, they left the cars in the driveway.
As the rounds wore on and I became more and more clueless as to the outcome, I started watching the four celebrities in the background. Leo sat on his left buttcheek, mouth open as if in a trance. Tobey, the box office king minus his nifty red long johns, blinked in rapid succession as if trying to focus on the fight in front of him. Mucho dinero was paid to watch De LaHoya and Mayweather pummel each other with concentration plastered (as well as Vaseline) on their sweaty faces. But instead of jumping up and down and yelling exuberantly, Tobey and Leo sat. Apparently they can only show "true" emotion if it's expressly written in a script.
However, as De LaHoya lit into his opponent with a renewed ferver, I was surprised to see both Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez launch from their seats and jump in the air, screaming at the top of their lungs. Well, huh.
It was fun. And I got to celebrity watch at the same time. Coolness.
I started my first day of work today. I think I did okay. However, I managed to break the copier and almost the fax. Oh well, tomorrow's another day. Unless I break my leg climbing up the crazy-steep stairs to my office. :)
I think I'll really like it there, though. Everyone is really nice and, more importantly, didn't get mad at me for breaking the copier, the fax, the....