Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a granny-hermit-couch!
The stockings were hung by the chimney with string,
In hopes that Harry would fill mine with big shiny rings!
The cat was nestled all snug in my bed,
while visions of tunas danced in her furry head.
And granny in her 'kerchief and I in my hubby's tee,
Had just settled down to watch too much tv.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I pushed Harry from bed: "Go see what's the matter!"
Away to the hall he tiptoed in silence,
Tore open the door in a fit of vast violence!
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen show
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to his wondering eye should appear,
but the UPS man, dressed in brown, my dear!
He was a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, he must be the courier, Nick!
More rapid than eagles, his packages came,
And he whistled as he called them all by name!
"Now Macy's! Now Tiffany's! Now Neiman Marcus!
On, Coach! On Dooney! On presents with sparkles!
To the front of the porch, to the top of the pile!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
He sprang to his truck, and gave a slight nod,
And down the road he flew, like a UPS God.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"