Monday, November 14, 2005

Open the (Flood) Gates and Sieze the Day!!!!

"Hey, what the- ?!" Harry yelled for me to come look. Usually this is the exclamation that follows a rather interesting pile of cat vomit. Which, as any of you who are fond of felines know, sometimes, you can't figure out what the hell Mr. Kitty has eaten and then regurgitated for your viewing non-pleasure.

Rolling my eyes, I troop down the stairs and shriek when I step on soggy carpeting. No, really. I scream like a 50's housewife that has just seen a mouse. The carpeting, already ugly on it's own, is now sopping wet. We don't know what to do. We're first-time home owners.

We call the plumbers. They tell us "Okay, so your basement is flooded. Okay. We'll be there sometime next week." Greeeeeat. Look for the bloated corpses floating in the ten feet of standing water you over-priced assmongrels!

We call a heating and a/c guy. We don't know what's going on and since our humidifier was leaking earlier - we figure it's just gone tidal wave-ish on us.

He looks like a non-blue papa smurf wearing company issued overalls. He looks in at the unit. Gets a flashlight and then makes his way to our little-used bathroom off of the air hockey table room. He shines a light around and then looks at us.

"You're toilet's broken." He smiles. "That'll be sixty-five dollars." To his credit, it was a holiday and it was after hours AND he turned off the leaking valve. But still - sixty-five dollars! That's six really cute throw pillows from Pier One! Grrr!

Luckily for us, we have friends in the Water Damage Business, and, even though that sounds a little like a Sopranos business, it's really quite a nifty company. They came over and sucked our carpet (Hey! Tenyearnap! That's still fun to type "Sucked our carpet"! Oops and a little perverted, too! )and left big Smurf-like snail dryers to de-soak our rug. Let's hope it works...

After all the big spiders that I see in my house normally, I'd hate to see the size of the one that was mutated by mold! AGH!


tenyearnap said...

Hey--it's Tuesday and I just recognized your Head in some sort of Wall of Portraits on the Journals Homepage. Go take a look. You're a Star!

h0llyk911 said...

Holy crap!
That IS my disembodied head floating there on the Journal Home Page!
I'm a STAR!