Thursday, November 10, 2005

Irony and the Tinkle Tango

I dribbled some peach cobbler down the front of my shirt last night while sitting at the kitchen table. I looked around to find a napkin. Not seeing one handy, I used one of those little cards that fall out of magazines to scoop the cobbler off my chest. I glanced at the card: "How to Fight Obesity."


I went to the little girl's room today at work. I had chugged a Sprite earlier and was now chugging along trying to run to the bathroom before I left a tinkle trail to the toilet. I had to undo a two-prong belt, unbutton a button, release two clasps and then unzip before I could find release.

If I have an accident today - I blame Tommy Hilfiger.

My mother just called to warn me that my father has joined my hubby in my front yard. They are pulling out the dead bushes and other suicidal shrubberies. Neither are very coordinated when it comes to manual labor. I fear one (or both) may come back missing a few digits.

Finally, Harry Potter is being released next Friday and, for shame, I already have tickets! I plan on getting the best seat, grade school kids be damned!


I'm evil.

Deal with it.

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