Monday, November 28, 2005

An Emotional Affair to Remember

Emotional affairs have been pushed into the spotlight by the canoodling of Angelina and Brad. And with the advent of internet dating, file sharing, picture swapping, instant messaging and blog writing, meeting people on line who share your taste and interests are plentiful and overflowing. The temptation to harmlessly flirt or share fantasies or to participate in seemingly inconsequential sexual quizzes are great and also seem to harbor no immediate ill-effects to your relationship in real life. Many even will adopt a more brazen personality on-line. The facelessness of the net has made this easier - but has it made marriage harder? Has on-line chatting and flirting made on-paper divorces that much easier?

Generally I will get a message from some guy wanting to chat, being a friendly person who is much better on paper than in person, I gladly agree and set about getting to know this guy. I usually get two questions in before (and I know I've written about this before) the "how big are your boobies?" man chimes in. Right now I am in the middle of a battle of wills with a guy claiming ownership of an 11.5" member and telling me that "harmless flirting" is okay on the net. This guy is resorting to Psych 101 to find out my cup size when I'm sitting at work seriously doubting that he spends his time shopping at Dick's for an XXL cup of his own.

I could sign off, tell him to trip over his master of all appendages and take a flying leap, but I'm drawn by curiosity. "What he doesn't know, won't hurt him" is his final stab at getting to my goodies. "Spoken like a future divorcee" I chime back. I mean, REALLY! Do these lines work on other happily married women? What am I supposed to say to Harry - "Hey baby, I told this guy that I was a c-cup and then he sent me a picture of his photoshopped dick - you're okay with that, right?" I seriously doubt that good times would be ahead for us and that the sea of Tranquil Marital Bliss would still be below us.

No and even though that he, being of male persuasion, does peruse the internet cache of fully-naked nubies out there, I am unbothered by it. Why? Because these air-brushed "barely legal" cuties are just that - barely real. I don't care. But should I find out that he has been swapping cutesy "what size is your member" emails with someone holed up in a cubicle in Texas, then hell hath no fury like a Holly scorned.

So - is the internet a breeding ground for emotional affairs? Can comparisons of intimate body parts eventually lead to more indiscressions? Can any couple possibly repair the cracks in the foundation if one or more members partake in the "harmless flirting" that occurs online? Until these questions are answered, I think that I will still to perusing the shelves of Amazon and My breasts should be safe there....

No comments: