Saturday, June 9, 2007

It's Raining - Babies???

As I attended yet another shower celebrating the new life of people who weren't smart enough to wear a condom (TO-tally kidding, ya'all!) I watched as a very-pregnant Chandra opened up tiny gift after gift with all of us in attendence oohing and aweing at the appropriate times. 
I never before thought I would be sitting in a little yellow room while things like nipple cream and breast milk storage wold be discussed in serious exchanges. 

And then I had to give advice.  "Is it too late to say - 'wear a condom'?" I joked as the maternal women avoided their eyes. 

Another thing that struck me as odd was the sheer beauty of the pregnant woman, herself.  With smooth skin, a simple black dress covering an ample tummy  and simple baby pink pumps, Chandra really did emulate the "Movie Star Mom" that was the theme of today's shower.

The only other pregnant girl that I'd observed close-up through the majority of her pregnancy was sis, and she looked a bit like a bloated beached whale: round, swollen and horribly uncomfortable.

As I left the shower wearing my feather boa and large black sunglasses, I thought "maybe I could  have one kid."

About that time a young boy walked by me with his finger up his nose to the point I feared for his brain. 

Yes, I'll take that as a sign.  And that sign is STOP.



oddb0dkins said...

Yep, there are always signs. 'Tis wise decision, methinks.
B. x

easuess said...

Oh my. I worked at an elementary school for a while--best birth control there is! :) Funny post.

tenyearnap said...

I remember being 7 months pregnant and mowing the front lawn of the farm while wearing work boots, shorts and my dirty pajama top. Movie Star Mom, I was not. But I could easily shoulder fifty pound bags of pig feed and keep the coyotes from eating the goats. Oh, and I could puke in a bag and drive at the same time.
Hey, you have plenty of time. Don't go feeling rushed about babies.

psychfun said...

Didn't you know...those condoms do not always live up to their names! Ugh! They should be made out of the same material as Batman's suit! HA!

amy122389 said...

My (17 yr old) daughter says 'Skip the birthin' and just be the cool aunt.  That's what I'm gonna do.'

Hahahahahahahahahhaahaha...alrighty then.


ukgal36 said...

i am laughing too hard at cin's comment to type..

gazker said...

I read the title and though, Holy crap, she's hain twins! Heart attacks all round me thought.
Phew, a baby shower huh? We'll wait for that little party to come over the pond, no doubt it will!
Gaz ;-)

princesssaurora said...

Chicken... you could do it... And, I will tell you... sooner is wayyyyy better than later.  My best friend totally wishes she did it much much earlier!!!!!

be well,

lazarai said...

I can't remember how old you are Holly, BUT I will let you in on something I figured out WAY too late....I had my girls when I was 32 and 35. Now I'm 50, and I'm in the grip of menopause AT THE SAME TIME AS BOTH GIRLS ARE TEENAGERS!!

This is NOT, I repeat NOT, a good idea!!!!!! ROFLMAO If I had it to do over again, I would have planned this all differently.

I'm jes' sayin'.....

;) Carol