As I attended yet another shower celebrating the new life of people who weren't smart enough to wear a condom (TO-tally kidding, ya'all!) I watched as a very-pregnant Chandra opened up tiny gift after gift with all of us in attendence oohing and aweing at the appropriate times.
I never before thought I would be sitting in a little yellow room while things like nipple cream and breast milk storage wold be discussed in serious exchanges.
And then I had to give advice. "Is it too late to say - 'wear a condom'?" I joked as the maternal women avoided their eyes.
Another thing that struck me as odd was the sheer beauty of the pregnant woman, herself. With smooth skin, a simple black dress covering an ample tummy and simple baby pink pumps, Chandra really did emulate the "Movie Star Mom" that was the theme of today's shower.
The only other pregnant girl that I'd observed close-up through the majority of her pregnancy was sis, and she looked a bit like a bloated beached whale: round, swollen and horribly uncomfortable.
As I left the shower wearing my feather boa and large black sunglasses, I thought "maybe I could have one kid."
About that time a young boy walked by me with his finger up his nose to the point I feared for his brain.
Yes, I'll take that as a sign. And that sign is STOP.