Last night while lying in bed in my pj's of Old Navy Sweatshirt and boxer shorts, I realized something. I was hungry.
I wanted - a Whopper.
So I did what any not-so-single gal would do at 11PM on a Wednesday Evening.
I called my sister, "I'm in need of a Whopper. I'm coming to get you. I'll be there in ten minutes. Be ready." Idle chit chat was not needed when one was craving an all-beef patty, flame-grilled and piled up with enough artery-clogging goodies to make even the hardiest Texan faint.
Pulling up to my parents' two story Colonial-esque home I noticed something odd. Behind the wheel of my father's 1971 Ranchero was a fuzzy-looking blob. My sister's hair is a bit poofy so I assumed she was just hanging out in dad's car - for some reason.
On closer inspection, as I nudged my Denali closer to the front of the Crayola blue car-truck,I saw that it was not, in fact, my curly-headed sister but a teddy bear - wearing a tutu, helming the Ranchero.
I laughed so hard I about rearended my sister's Neon- and then - my sister as she rounded the front of my car.
"Wherearewegoing?" she asked in one breath and then glanced at my bra-less outfit, "Obviouslyadrivethru."
"I must have a Whopper," I said, ignoring her comment about my chosen fashion for the evening.
She agreed and we set off to the lovely Huntington Mall area only to find out - Burger King was closed.
"Doyouwanttogototheotherone?" She asked, yawning and rubbing her head. We both suffer from migraines and she was working on her third day and I my fifth.
"Yup, I'm on a mission," I said and took off down Route 60 like a bat outta hell... seeking a burger.
It was closed.
"This is RIDICULOUS!" I yelled, "It's like we're stuck in that movie, 'Harold and Kumar go to White Castle! I just want a cheeeeeeeseburger!"
"Thatwasafunnymovie..." Summer said and then asked "Is there another Burger King?"
"There is one," I said ominously.
Crossing my fingers (which is not easy to do while driving) we headed toward the campus of Marshall University. We could see the lights from a block away - they were open!
We giggled and laughed as we placed our order and thoroughly entertained (or annoyed) the wait staff. I pealed away from the window, clutching our stinky bag of greasy food and pulled over.
"Hey, let'sgoupthehill - I'llshowyouthathouseIwant," Summer said. She's dying to move out of mom and dad's house - who wouldn't be?- and found a house for sale in a questionable neighborhood in Huntington.
"Turnhere!" she squealed as I struggled to turn the wheel, grasp my precious burger and follow her tiny, shoestring-like pointer finger.
"Thereitis! Thethirdhouse!" I peered down the darkened brick street and could see - nothing. I turned down the hill and although I was a little worried about getting stuck, I continued my quest to see the house of my sister's dreams.
The tiny little white house with black shutters sat atop a tiny hill, flocked on either side with basically well-kept homes. The steep steps had a lovely white pipe handrail and two pine trees on either side of the front door.
"It's a crackhouse," I said.
"It'snot! It'scheapandtheneighborhoodisokayand - well - there'safullbasement-"
"For the Meth lab?" I interjected with a giggle, "And LEAD PAINT?!"
"Nope, we're just gonna get you an Airsteam Trailer and stick it out front of Mom and Dad's house," I said as I tried to Wee-waw my way off the iddy-bitty street.
"I'mbuyingthehouse," she said stubbornly.
"Oh, really? Does the crack come with it for free?" I joked.
I really do hope she gets a house, one more year of living with the 'rents and someone's gonna end up as Lifetime Movie of the Week!