Monday, December 18, 2006

Ri-OH Grande!

My good bud, Alison and I decided to go to Rio Grande, our favorite lunching spot, today.  We were seated rather quickly and shown to our "usual" booth (yes, we eat there that freakin' much!).  Instead of being greeted by a familiar face - we got a newbie.

Fine - just bring on the cheese dip.

So - I order our drinks and he looks at me - smiles and looks at my boobs.

Um - er - 'kay.  Fine - just bring on that cheese dip!

It had already been an odd lunchtime experience considering upon our arrival to "The Rio" we were greeted by not one, but two low, appreciative whistles.  This was puzzling for two reasons.  Number one was because Alison and I were attempting to free ourselves from my Mother's Taurus with its velcro-like seats which leaves any occupant flopping around like a half-dead trout and number two - Alison had just finished loudly announcing to the entire parking lot that she had a run in her hose.  

Neither of which is all that sexy.  Nor deserving of the dog whistle.

So now that we are seated and ready to order, I'm happily anticipating the large and cheesy "Jumbo Vegetarian burrito."

"I would like a Jumbo burrito - no meat," I said to the chubby mustached man. 

"No meat," he repeated and then smiled at me, looked me in the eyes - and then looked at my breasts again.

When he brought our food out a millisecond later - I said "Thanks - oh -and don't forget the cheese dip!" 

He said "Cheese dip" and then dropped his eyes. 

By this time I was turning red and Alison was like "Okay - I think he likes your boobs." 

When he asked if we needed anything - every three minutes - he would stand very close to me and plaster a big grin on his face. I was beginning to think this guy was a broken clock - the way his eyes kept rolling up and down in his head.

Finally, we leave and I feel full - both in ego and in tummy.

Needless to say - I left him a big tip.



gazker said...

See? He had his eyes on your Sweater Puppies!!!!!!!!!!

argesq said...

Maybe the run in my hose was never know!!

Ok, I would hate to insult the cheese dip...given my somewhat unnatural attachment to the cheese dip....but that particular cheese dip looks kinda gross.  

tenyearnap said...

Forget the power of cheese commercial...The Power of Boobs (that's sweater puppies to gazker) is Almighty.