Monday, November 17, 2008

Infamously Yours...



Huntington, WV is dubbed "Unhealthiest City" 
Holly responds with a resounding: "Pbbbbbbbt!"


For pete's sake. 

Just when WV was starting to kick the hillbilly stereotype and people from the other 49 states were just beginning to recognize us as an actual state and not just "Western Virginia" - then THIS article had to come out and push us back down the rungs of the idiot ladder!

The article, in a nutshell, uses old data to declare my hometown as filled with fat-laden hilljack who prefer to gum hot dogs with their toothless mouths while sneering at "pretty city" folk who drive up in their shiny automobiles! And the (soon to be former) Mayor just nods and grins at the fool reporter who laps it all up like one of Paris Hilton's many tiny dogs!   Mayor Felinton (hereinafter known as "Idiot Boy Who Was Hopefully Misquoted" basically says "Well, you're right.  We're fatsos but c'mon - have you seen how poor we are? And how we have no teeth?  Now there's the real problem. 

Dude. That's like saying "Nevermind the pink elephant in the room - look at the dragon hanging from the ceiling - careful - it'll singe your nostril hair if you get too close!". 

So, my rebuttal is as follows:

Yes, we may be a tubby society, we may enjoy our foods, our deep fried cheese and whatnots, but we'll smile at you while we dab the grease from our chins. We'll hold open the door for you with our meaty mitts if you're behind us in line.  We'll let you merge in traffic as we rev the engine in our giant trucks and SUV's.   
And our grins are genuinely genuine if not orthodontically-challenged.  So I'll take my kinfolk as they are - without the plastic coating that other communities seem to staple to their wallets and bodies.  I'll take real over fake, manners over "mine" and a hot dog, deep fried to a golden brown over a prime rib any day.   

So Huntington, WV is too unhealthy for that "reporters" taste?  
Well then - get the hell out
And don't let the panhandle hit you in the ass on the way out. 

Hmph. 

  


6 comments:

Indigo said...

That face is priceless hon. I can't believe the mayor was agreeing with them. Hell must mean his joke is easy as climbing a hill of beans. (Hugs)Indigo

Lori said...

Love it! I'm from Kentucky, so I know about all those hillbilly stereotypes. I think WV is a beautiful state, and the people I've met from there are very nice.

Odds Bodkins. said...

Unbelieveable that the mayor should practically agree with her.
Glad you got to sink your teeth into him - while you still have them. ;O)

B. x

Abril Amanecer said...

The audacity! Augh! What an idiot mayor! The shny new automobiles comment floored me! I envisioned the opening scenes of the Beverly Hillbillies! Associated Press... bah!

Saltydawg said...

Holl Doll, your face says it all!
Gaz xx

Ad5k said...

I live in Oklahoma and I'm pretty sure we have WV beat for the most overweight people.