Today was yet another fashion show at the local mall in which my niece flashed the audience, danced like a maniac in the wings only to dart to the end (and off the end) of stage when it was her turn to "model."
On one of these "flashes and dashes" she made it into Adams Fine Gifts and started touching all the things that are tiny, breakable and too damn expensive.
Like two trained missiles my sister, teetering on her heels and clutching a camera to her over-exposed chest and me in my tasteful outfit of jeans and granny shirt, followed after.
While looping around a table covered in bears I stopped dead in my tracks.
A tiny bear about the size of my hand was nestled along the rows of its comrades. Wearing a minuscule green felt bucket that had a large yellow flower on it. I marveled at how much this stuffed animal looked like the girl from that tv show "Blossom" which was popular when I was young.
The worst part was the large yellow stitched letters on the bears fashionably challenged apron: "Thirty and LOVING it!!!"
"They put it on a bear?" I said while picking up the horrible animal and thrusting it toward my sister. "I'm to that age now? Where it's appropriate to stitch sayings on a bear wearing a horrible 'Blossom' hat? Is that what we've come to? Oh no," I said, putting the cringe-worthy doll back on the table and walking away. "Oh no, oh no, oh no..."
"Thirty and Loving It"???