Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Holly's Happenings

Since I have failed to mention a few of the more memorable occassions in the past few months - I will now list them for you in my usual witty-banter style:

1.  Last Friday I got a call from the Prosecutor's office downtown, after fainting for a bit I heard the woman ask: "Are you still interested in the Juvenile Advocacy position?"  I quickly said "Yes, I'm VERY much still interested in the position.  I have a job interview later this week and have even bought a snazzy new suit for it. Wish me luck!

2. Later that same day is when I was told that my responsibilities as receptionist will now triple to include the majority of the "paid much better than me" office manager's job.  For a piddliance of a raise - AND they wanted me to come in a half hour earlier.  I have submitted a slight change in their plan and asked for double the raise they were offering.  That was Monday morning. I've yet to hear back.

3.  Harry has instituted what I now lovingly call "The Fifty-two Month" plan.  In it, I must be employed for the next 2.5 years then, we will start our family and I will never have to work again.  Please pause while the choirs and angels sing.  :)

4.  I have submitted "Super Bunny", my novella, to Kensington after finding out that they do accept unagented submissions from the public.  Although I am positive that Bunny is probably holding up the bottom of a very large slush pile - all hope is not lost.  I will find a way to be heard - even if I have to self-publish - which - would give me creative license over Cover Art and Font... Ohhhhhh... My nose is wrigglin' just thinkin' about it...

5.  I spent last Saturday night at a "West Virginia Fairs and Festivals" pageant where 75 girls compete for one title.  There was even a midget.  No, I'm not kidding.  But even the little person couldn't take away my glee at seeing the Intermission Entertainment which was - noneother than - A  LASER LIGHT SHOW!  Yes - the very best in 1987 Entertainment Technology was presented on a large white screen while the laser-dancing figures acting out John Denver's song about WV.  They showed coal miners, mountains, nature and hills in the background framed by - "PALM TREES! OH MY GOD! THERE'S PALM TREE!" I shriek and point while the others at my table stare at me as if I've lost my mind.  I'm laughing so hard that by the time the word" AMERICA" is written across the screen with a pink laser, I can barely hold my pee as I read what looks like "AMEEENICA! AMEEENICA!"   The table in front of me turns to join in.  By the time we've endured thirty minutes of hysterical laughter - the show is over - but surely not forgotten.  As we're leaving the pageant I see a table piled high with dvds:  "Book The Laser Light Show for Your Fair!"  I grabbed one.  You never know when you're gonna need a light show, after all...

6.  I walked around Home Depot last night with Harry.  We argued over whether or not to get a buggy as soon as we hit the door.  We argued about hardwood flooring, bamboo flooring or carpeting various parts of the house.  We argued about looking at counter tops.  We argued about paint colors, paint placement, wall murals, wall paper, paint matching, paint patching and - finally - paint striping.  Ah - the joys of home ownership and having to agree on those "joys" with someone you have absolutely no style in common. 

7.  My sister just called to express her disdain and feelings of hurt over finding out that the hot Indian doctor on "Heroes" is using a fake accent.  Cell minutes well used, my friends...

8.  I caught my cat staring at me during a rather crucial part of an intimate moment last night.  Creeeeeeepy...

9.  When I think about starting a new DIEt, my first response is to eat everything in sight as if I have to pack on pounds for hibernation like a bear or stuff things in my cheeks to retrieve later some lard-assed chipmunk.   This can not be a natural reaction.

10. I'm now craving peach cobbler.



princesssaurora said...

I hope you get the juvenile advocacy position.

As for the 52 month plan... you know what they say about the best laid plans right?

I was also bummed about the hot indian guys british accent.  :(  Still hot, but the accent rocked, right Summer?

Hang in there with the fasting... ugh.  I hate it too.

be well,

gazker said...

I hope you get that job Holly, then you can tell them to stick your current one up their Arse!
Just to let you know I have a British accent if you need me for voice overs at any time lololol.

oddb0dkins said...

Re: No.3 - Now, I'm not a parent myself but I think you'll find that once you start a family the work will never stop. Ask around. B. x

tenyearnap said...

1. Do NOT spill anything on yourself while wearing the snazzy new suit.
2. Damn lawyermen.
3. Hahahaaaa...as if those little buggers aren't WORK. It is fun work, though.
4. Is Fabio still doing those hair-in-the-breeze covers?
5. I must have miised teh palm trees in my travels through VA/WV.
6. HD--I cannot get out of there fast enough.
7. I have no idea what you are talking about. Please send me a picture.
8. I always end up shooing the cats out of the bedroom because that really is creepy.
9. Seems like a NORMAL reaction to me.
10. Dammit, now so am I.