Yesterday was my dental consultation with a dentist over in Ohio that specializes in "smile makeovers." If anyone is a candidate for such a makeover, it is I! My front tooth - the one I bashed in on a piece of mis-placed sidewalk just less than a decade ago - looks like crap - so I'm having it fixed.
My quote for Zoom! Whitening, Cleaning, Post Insertion (eeeeek!) and a lasering of my gum line comes to just under $2000. When the lady wrote this number in pretty black ink on the back of a business card - I tried hard not to swoon.
Leaving the office with my little white bag of pre-whitener ("I'm a Toad-ally Awesome Patient") I remembered that Harry had dental insurance. I sped out of the parking lot, realized that I was a non-Ohioan and instantly crept back to a 25 mph pace. Once I was back at the office I looked it up - it expired at the end of last year.
Turns out that they've switched insurance carriers and Harry didn't even know it. Well, he may have known it but - like Harry tends to do - he forgot. His inability to recall anything from his short-term memory is a running joke between me and his best friend, Mike. After seeing Batman Begins for the third time, Harry asked "Wait - did Gordon die in that movie?" We've never let him live that down.
So, I'm off to figure out what insurance coverage I have and then how much I shall have to pay out of pocket. My guess? At least $1200. So - how to make the money? Since my job here at Lawyerman, Lawyerman and Stingy Layerman, PLLC does not afford me the kind of life where luxurious items, like front teeth, are easily purchased - I must get creative with my money-making ways.
However, besides posting myself on a street corner, praying for a chubby chaser John who's into half-price specials - I'm a little lost. Perhaps I could go back to retail for awhile?
Or maybe a chicklet front tooth isn't all that bad...