Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Disney Do's and Don't's

I just realized that I have devoted not a single entry to the happenings of my Third Honeymoon/Vacation to the Happiest Place on Earth!

Well, there's a reason for that - it was kinda sucky.

It was hot. Really hot. Like Wicked Witch of the West "I'm melting" kind of hot. And if that wasn't bad enough - it rained everyday, too. Not just a teeny bit of misty rain, nope, this was Monsoon-sized droplets that pelted you and instantly drenched you so that no amount of Poncho covering would do. We bought four ponchos and an umbrella, by the way - totalling just over $50 - for raingear.

I was so sick of seeing Mickey by the time the week was over and Stitch, too. And, really, all the rest of the Disney troops. And kids. And people in general. The only highlight of the trip (besides some great acquisitions of Kate Spade and Coach gear) was after a late night spent at the Magic Kingdon and a rather uncomfortable monorail ride. We were just heading back to our building at The Grand Floridian and were walking past the 24-hour pool. An EXTREMELY large man with a tatoo beside his eye (ew and ouch) walked by in his black velour robe. Behind him, piled high, was a trolley full of drinks. This large man was toting around a drink tray of Margaritas, beer, vodka and other varieties of alcohol. It was the most hilarious and unique sight we saw while in Orlando. His little girl - clad in a pink Disney princess bathing suit that stretched across her round roly-poly belly was playing in a puddle at the end of the sidewalk.

Suddenly, Tatoo stopped and sniffed the air.

"I smell gas," he says. "That's poisonous gas, that is, I'm a firefighter, I should know poisonous gas..."

The other bulky members of his posse began investigating, sniffing the air and looking around. The little girl stopped playing and looked around. Her face contorted, nose screwed up and brow furrowed in concentration.

"Wait! Hey!" She was running toward Mr. Tatoo and was now beaming with the wisdom of youth. "Hey, maybe it's me!"

This made my day. I doubled over laughing in the middle of the sidewalk.

And that, my dear readers, is why Disneyworld unites people from all over theworld, because no matter what language you speak, or where you come from - a little fat girl in a Disney Princess Bathing suit emitting poisonous gas - is always funny.

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