Monday, April 27, 2009


Yesterday my mother called to tell me that my grandmother, we call her "Nan-nan," was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia.   Mom rushed from the house, hair still damp from the shower and clad only in old for-the-house-only sweat pants and sans any make-up.  When she arrived at the ER she found my grandmother a bit under the weather but decked out like her Talbot's photo shoot would be taken after the blood was drawn. 

"You and Summer can come see her tomorrow," she warned us. 

So today after a long and kinda boring Job Fair where we got stuck in Road Construction work on I-64 which turned out NOT to be Road Work but to, instead, be Road Closed Due to Body Found in Trash Can (EWWWW) I waited for Sis to come over. 

"Wegogetcontrabandfirst?" she said in her normal non-pausing speech which still makes my head spin in a mini-circle. 

"Yes," I said. "We can go to Wal Mart and go get her some contraband."  

Two hours later (ugh.) we end up in a double suite at one of the local hospitals.  

"They ask you stupid questions," Nan-nan said, explaining her love of medical doctors. 

Summer nodded.  "Like your sexual history?"  I tried to kick her but she moved.  

"Well, they asked me if I had ears and I said yes, two of 'em and went like this for some reason," Nan-nan grabbed her chest a bit and bounced. 

"Why would you do that?  Couldn't you just say, 'I have two ears'?"  I wasn't sure why they were testing her sanity but I feared that she would do worse if they asked her to count a body part of only one. 

"Holly," Summer said slowly.  "They didn't ask her about her ears, they asked her about her piercings and she gestured to her boobs."  

"Wha-huh? Nooo - did you?  NAN-NAN why did you tell them you had pierced nipples?!?!?"

She giggled and went back to pulling her pants legs up over her bare legs and flailing them about.  And then she hid her candy from the doctors.  Or us.  

So - needless to say - my grandmother is doing fine and dandy with enough spunk left in her to amuse all of the orderlies on staff. 

Or scare the crap out of 'em. 

Either way.  


Amber said...

Oh my! I couldn't imagine either of my grandma's with pierced nipples! That is too funny!

Summer said...

Yup. It's sll true. Scary, funny and true. If I hadn't been there myself-deflecting Holly's kicks-I would still have believed it. Bc that's Nanners for ya!! Old, crazy and awesome!