Monday, April 13, 2009

You'll Put Your Eye Out!

I'm alone - a LOT - so when it comes to fixing dinner for myself it usually ends up being some poor excuse of an ordeal involving a fast food joint or whatever is stuck to the bottom of the freezer.  Today was no exception as I came home, stuck my freckled nose in our fridge (handles still crusty from the meal Harry prepared me during my illness weekend before last since a symptom of mankind includes the inability to prepare meals withOUT covering the walls like they were part of the dinnerware) and came up with - a bag of frozen broccoli.   

Two pieces of cheese and a sleeve of Ritz crackers later and my dinner was complete.   It was unbalanced, a bit crunchy at times, but it was (mostly) edible so I was moderately pleased.  

But I wanted more. 

Creeping back to the icebox I glanced around as if worried about getting caught and slowly slid open the bottom freezer door.  Reaching one pale, bespeckled arm into the cold abyss, I pulled back and held in my tiny little hand - a half eaten pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream from Baskin and Robbins.  It wasn't mine.   But who was going to stop me?

I grabbed a big spoon from the drawer, threw caution to the wind as I bypassed a bowl and slid back into my still-warmed seat at the kitchen table.  

I mercilessly began digging out all the cookie chunks, hacking at the creamy mound with wild abandon until it loosed its bounty unto my waiting shovel. Spoonful after spoonful of velvety
 goodness found its way to my lips as I spotted the mother of all chunks stuck to the very bottom of the flimsy pink carton. 

Forgetting my cautious ways, I held the carton up at an angle, peered down into the depths and pushed with all my might with my spoon against the side of the carton. 


The carton gave way, the spoon found its mark and - I flipped a large chunk of ice cold ice cream up into my face. 
And into my eye. 
I yowled and hollered and cursed as I banged my spoon on the counter and plucked the milky bits from my cheek, chin, shirt and eye.   
And then I looked back into the carton with my watery eye. 
The cookie chunk mocked me as it held its ground. 
Squinting so as to protect my retinas from anymore flying cookie shrapnel, I dove in, caught my foe and ate it in one fell swoop.

I then sat down the carton and quickly texted Harry:  "I tripped.  fell into your ice cream tub.  ate it all.   Complete assident.  I assure u... :)"

I win. 

1 comment:

Summer said...

That would never have happened if I had been able to meet you for MX tonight. Cheese dip is not that dangerous. This is allllll my fault!!