Thursday night I tottered over to the 'rents house to partake in some takeout "Jim's" spaghetti sauce (great lil' place in Huntington, WV - stop by ya'all!) and sat at the long, old table mom decided to put in her newly remodeled and modern kitchen.
Mom was actually eating heartily for once and dad had abandoned the blaring tv in the other room to come regale us with stories of the zombies he works with at the Veteran's home. He leaned against the sink, his blue sweatshirt straining slightly over his belly as he put both hands in his pocket --- and pulled out an open tube of super glue.
"Uh-oh," he said while mom and I froze, food hanging halfway from our plates to our mouths.
"Well, where's the lid?" he dug around in his right pocket, eyes crossed in concentration before hopping slightly and yelling, "OHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" He then grinned at mom and said ---- and here's where I died a little - again--
"It's burning! Wanna blow it? It burns! Wanna blow it?"
He then capped his superglue, stuffed it back into his pocket and sauntered back to his blaring television set with a satisfied smile on his ruddy face.
"Well," I said to mom as she tried to regain her appetite, "at least now when he slices off a buttcheek from putting exacto knives in his back pockets - we'll know where to find the superglue to glue it back on!!!"
That's my daddy!!!