July has been an eventful month.
I found out that one can injure one own's self just by entering a car and flinging one's hand over their head like a deranged and plump ballerina. And then, that same person will be surprised when their knuckle skin is then dangling from the uber-sharp cd in their visor in a seemingly mocking fashion.
Also, if one goes to the dentist and finds one's self at the mercy of an eighteen year old dental hygenist who insists on poking one's gums while retelling the story of her perfect life and perfect teeth and perfect hair and then, and only then, will she pause, sit back on her mobile stool and say with disdain, "Man! You're spitty! You have a lot of spit!" then that same person will realize that rock bottom is just as jagged as she'd originally thought.
Finally, when one finds herself sitting at a table with her loving husband and even more loving granny-in-law and this same female is on the brink of a PMS-inspired melt-down then it is not advisable for the hubby and granny to get into a toddler-esque squabble over who is right and who is wrong on a particular subject. "No, I didn't, Harry!" "Meme! You did! I was there!" "Well, I don't remember it!" "Yes, you do!" And really - is it any surprise that this same female who is trying to ignore the eye twitch in her left socket and the steak knife clutched in her right hand finally, and semi-quietly, yell "THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME NOR THE PLACE TO HOLD SUCH A DISCUSSION! CAN WE PLEASE JUST FOCUS ON DESSERT???" And then to have her loving husband and even more loving granny-in-law to look at her as if SHE were the one with the sanity issues before they then launched into the dessert discussion: "I haven't been here in a year!" "Yes, you have, Meme - you came with us on my birthday!" "Why, I did not! It's not on my calendar!" "You did! You came with us! And we went home and had cake!"
Welcome to my July...
OH - and I forgot to mention how the "Spitty" comment was quickly followed up with "You still have your wisdom teeth? Oh - we'll need to get those out..." And then they told me to call this Oral Surgeon guy and schedule my appointment that is 15 years overdue. Sure. I'll get right on that since I've obviously not put this off for any amount of time in the past or anything... Trust... it's a funny thing... :)