Saturday, July 26, 2008

July: How I am Glad to See you Go...

July has been an eventful month. 

 I found out that one can injure one own's self just by entering a car and flinging one's hand over their head like a deranged and plump ballerina. And then, that same person will be surprised when their knuckle skin is then dangling from the uber-sharp cd in their visor in a seemingly mocking fashion.  

Also, if one goes to the dentist and finds one's self at the mercy of an eighteen year old dental hygenist who insists on poking one's gums while retelling the story of her perfect life and perfect teeth and perfect hair and then, and only then, will she pause, sit back on her mobile stool and say with disdain, "Man! You're spitty! You have a lot of spit!" then that same person will realize that rock bottom is just as jagged as she'd originally thought.

Finally, when one finds herself sitting at a table with her loving husband and even more loving granny-in-law and this same female is on the brink of a PMS-inspired melt-down then it is not advisable for the hubby and granny to get into a toddler-esque squabble over who is right and who is wrong on a particular subject.   "No, I didn't, Harry!" "Meme! You did!  I was there!"  "Well, I don't remember it!" "Yes, you do!"   And really - is it any surprise that this same female who is trying to ignore the eye twitch in her left socket and the steak knife clutched in her right hand finally, and semi-quietly, yell "THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME NOR THE PLACE TO HOLD SUCH A DISCUSSION! CAN WE PLEASE JUST FOCUS ON DESSERT???"  And then to have her loving husband and even more loving granny-in-law to look at her as if SHE were the one with the sanity issues before they then launched into the dessert discussion: "I haven't been here in a year!"  "Yes, you have, Meme - you came with us on my birthday!"  "Why, I did not!  It's not on my calendar!"  "You did!  You came with us! And we went home and had cake!"

Welcome to my July...


OH - and I forgot to mention how the "Spitty" comment was quickly followed up with "You still have your wisdom teeth?  Oh - we'll need to get those out..." And then they told me to call this Oral Surgeon guy and schedule my appointment that is 15 years overdue.  Sure.  I'll get right on that since I've obviously not put this off for any amount of time in the past or anything... Trust... it's a funny thing...  :)


gazker said...

So, sit down in the chair and relax Holly. Let the therapist and you deal with hygenist first shall we? If you have no problems with your wisdom tetth, why remove em? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Now as for being spitty, I would have tileted my head back and hoicked a big grolly right between the biatch's eyes, then she would have REALY known, what 'spitty' is.
Now for  Harry and Grandma......... Ok, so you're PMT crazy, so use it as an excuse when the police come. It might work.
Gaz ;-) xxxxx

oddb0dkins said...

That PMS sure makes you unreasonable. What you should have done is to bang Harry and Nan's heads together and sent them to their rooms WITHOUT dessert.
And the steak knife would be put to much better use on the dentist! Let's face it,who hasn't wanted to return some of the pain to that particular breed at one time or another? I tel you, no jury would convict!

Thanks for the giggles, Spitty. ;O)

B. x

lazarai said...

OMG, we're sister in SPIT - I get that comment all the time from whomever's behind the mask....


Have a great Sunday,
:) Carol

rdautumnsage said...

I think we are both going to be happier to see August. July started literally with a birthday and the news of bifocals. Then on to "oh you can't breath" heres an inhaler and medication. Yes, you will be on them pretty much the rest of your life. Oh, and aren't (it works here trust me) you glad you smoked for 26 of your 43 years....hmmm yeah July has to go. It's overdone about right now. Thanks for the smiles dear friend. Here's to hoping August has the right kind of excitment. (Hugs)Indigo

beckiepainton said...

we are joined by the power of PMT.I get it BAAAD.And i enjoy every chuffin last pointy sweary unreasonable second of it.Men deserve it.Beckie x
well mine does anyway:)