Monday, July 28, 2008

Can you Keep a Secret???

So my sis just called me because one of her friends was upset that my sister posted something on her MySpace page that released information that the other friend did not want released about her ex-relations.

Did you follow that?

Nah - me neither.  The way I figure it is - generally speaking - all information obtained in any given relationship is fair game if the relationship goes bust and produces a comparable mushroom cloud in its wake.  I mean, if no one was allowed to talk about their exes then where would all the tell-all books be? How would we know all the stuff that we never wanted to know (but kinda did) about celebreties and ex-presidents?  And if any of my exes were interesting enough to warrent the spilling of their secrets on the World Wide Web - I'd probably do it. And laugh all the way.  However, none of my relationships pre-Harry were really worth any more than a passing poke (take that how you'd like) and although each ended badly and each ended in a different way I still didn't have any ammo worthy of World War III.

However, that being said, the reason that this chicky was mad was because the spillage involved a guy who dumped her, broke her heart and then danced upon it like a crazed Swing Dancer from the mid-nineties.  If anyone has a right to be mad - then aren't the ones who are dumped, duped and generally dicked over guaranteed a right to smear the other one in the relationship?

Am I wrong?  I mean, of course, what goes around comes around so if the dumpee posts a pic on myspace of the dumper (hee hee) wearing nothing but an elephant-face thong and a come-hither pout then the dumpee should not be surprised to then find a picture of herself wearing, well, nothing and smiling at all the internet clickers.

So that's my rant - further proving the point that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"... and with ready access to the internet.

                                          (Me, circa 1996 with a smaller waist  and with Unworthy Man #1; Unworthy Man #2 showed up two years later and lasted for about a year before being squashed out by Hubby #1  hee hee - I mean Hubby.)


psychfun said...

Well I hear what you are saying but my thought is...

1. I would not want to sink to the dumper's level. To me it would kinda be like that if I did that...even if it was my own b-friend. Kinda like the woman posted video on her estranged husband about her divorce or what Christie Brinkley was doing. It just does not make you look like the adult, maybe just as bad.

2. When it is someone else divulging, not the person getting dumped I think that is different. I think it is the dumpee's person info that they say to a best friend in confidence. No, you may not say "Don't tell anyone" but it is just assumed when you are best friend you have that trust & don't have to say that. You don't expect them to then pick up the phone & call all their friends & tell them what you said. This is much more telling everyone & anyone in the world. Her friend may still feel bad everyone knowing her heart was trashed & stomped on & also it is a feeling of invasion of privacy. Kinda like what the poparazzi (sp) do & the gossip rag sheets. I just would not have done it without their permission. Lets say she told her she had Cancer...would she then say that? Now did she use a name or just say "I have a friend" that might make it different. If people could tell who it is like my mom might know my friend is writing about me then that would not be something I would do.

This is just how I see it and maybe I'm the only one but I wouldn't want someone to do it to me & I would not think of doing it to someone. I might say something about my current beau or ex but I would not say "My sister's last ex...." I might just say I know someone who had a b-friend or even I saw on tv to disguise even more. The other point I forgot is if you think it is fair game then the ex can have that same right & say what he wants on the internet & then where does it go from there? Just downhill people arguing & fighting & some even unfortunately just g

dpoem said...

Thankfully, all of my exes are too stupid to know how to turn ON a computer, much less negotiate the tangled mess of tubes that is the internet.  

So, if I wanted to blab and offend them, I'd have to rent billboard space and probably some TV ad time during Buffy reruns.  


gazker said...

Oh Holly are we glad you dumped that geezer. Did he ever smile? Thank Lordy ya found Hazza, now, he's my kinds guy ;-)
Gaz xxx

plittle said...

Sounds like someone's still holding a candle. Why do some women pine for the long lost lovers who treated them like shit?

oddb0dkins said...

I'm not sure I agree with the kiss and tell stuff we see in the press and books these days, it smacks of sour grapes. Any half decent relationship deserves some modicum of respect, regardless of how it ended.

That said, I think if someone spread the dirt on me I'd probably be inclined to sling a little mud back their way.
Revenge is sweet, after all. ;O)

B. x

summerthyme1221 said...

WTF is WRONG with all of you commentors?!  (-ers??)  THIS is what I did THE NIGHT i found out my exhusband had been cheating on me (while I  was home nursing our daughter he had been boinking the computer nerd at the office on a reg basis ) for over 6 months.  Our baby girl had just turned one!! So I ripped all of our wedding pix off the walls, smashed them, burned pix of us  in the sink, called his  whore numerously and left psycho msgs on her VM ( it was 3 am).  I then took all of my then hubby's prized belongings (i.e.  ALL of his executive wardrobe and family photo albums from his childhood) and tossed them out into the rain and ran car over said items back n forth till they were good and smashed deeply into the mud of the gravel driveway.  I then drove off like a bat outta hell ( our daughter happened to be spending the night w/ her Nana).  While in the car going approx 115 or so mph I called every single one of our friends, all of his biz contacts -including bosses past and present and his family and told them every gruesome detail of his adultery I had knowledge of.  I spared NO cuss words.  I had no shame. Was I nuts? Yeah. Sure was.  BUt what did I care? It was over. He deserved it and I don't regret it even now.  Mess with me and that is what you get!  Mess w/ my BFfs (sisters included, of course) and I will rewrite the definition of HELL just for you!   hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhhaaahhhaa!!* that is maniacal laughter in case you were wondering.

beckiepainton said...

oh yes!! good on thr girl below me!! I get even when My better (a-hem) half gets on the wrong side of me.Like tonight, I have to be up at 4;30 tomorrow morning for work and he has gone out drinking and left me with the kids.Illl get you my prettty, hehehehehahhahhahhaaaaaa!!!!!!   beckie x

denise1414b said...

Ummm, I have to disagree.  I'm a bit late on the commenting of this blog, but it sounds like the only thing the girl below me is doing is having trouble getting over her ex.  Your little girl is how old now (looks to be about 6 or so) and you're still writing psycho stuff about your relationship of the PAST (way past if the breastfeeding comment is any indication)?  Sounds to me like you've been watching too much Jerry Springer with those stunts you pulled!  That or you're 10! Next, who would put their friend's relationship business on My Space for the whole world to see?  Doesn't sound like much of a friend if you ask me.  My advice, quit advertising yours and everyone else's business.  Days of our Lives is not real life, contrary to your belief.  Sorry, just being real.

h0llyk911 said...

Hey Denise -
Thanks for reading  and stopping by my blog!  
Gotta love the 'nets!

However, you're mistaken.
As much as I appreciate your taking time to read and comment, to judge someone for feeling strongly about their ex (and the extenuating and horrific circumstances that you are unaware of) and then post a comment telling them that they're "ten" and referencing "Jerry Springer" makes me wonder if you understand the depth of the emotion involved and may perhaps also lack the maturity to understand the trauma that is involved in an adulterous relationship.  So while the commenter on my blog may have a little leftover steam from past relationships and did, in fact, post a MySpace Bulletin where she mentioned that "one of her friend's ex's was getting another divorce" that, in no way, makes her fodder for someone else's ill-fated advice.

Be critical of me, that's fine - it's my blog - but the next time you have a comment to make about one of my reader's comments - be well aware that in order to "be real" one has to live for "real" -something I can tell you've yet to do.

Thanks again for reading - I understand if you won't be visiting again, but I can assure you that I mean no disrespect and wish you the best - both on the internets and in the real world - when you get to it.  

denise1414b said...

You're exactly right and I apologize for going off on such a tangent.  I meant no disrespect to you.  I guess what irritated me the most is that she openly displays the details of the affair so openly and describes her "crazy" (and that is quoted from her) actions like a badge of honor.  That is not really something I would be too proud of.  I imagine I wouldn't handle something like that too well, either, but I don't think I'd spread it all over My Space for any random person to come across.  Those are usually private matters.  But she seems like a girl who obviously basks in the attention and relishes the drama that these comments bring, so who am I to stop her?  I just found myself embarrassed for her when I read this, rather than standing behind her like some "woman hater" cheerleader.  I apologize again and will not make any additional comment.  Have a good day.

summerthyme1221 said...

Well OF COURSE I have to comment on Denise's comment!  IT wasn't like I just went nuts on my then-husband outta blue.  He was very mean and neglectful and blamed all of our problems on ME AND THE BABY. When I found out he just wanted to be rid of us, I snapped.  I was very very numb and not thinking a cohesive thought during that night. My ex husband and I only recently divorced ( barely a yr ago bc of the stupid separation laws when there are children involved) Believe me, I HAVE moved on and Gillian and I have a wonderful man in our lives who loves us and supports us in everything we do.  
And Denise's revelation that I bask in attention isn't exactly earth-shattering, is it? Did she MISS the Anything Goes pic? I am a theatre chic, a pageant girl, a stage hog in general.  Life IS a stage and MINE is no exception.  To be associated w/ me is to player in my show.  If you don't like it, take a bow and exit, stage left.

denise1414b said...

I imagine I'd be in quite the emotional state myself!  And I do mean that.  Can I ask you, though, what does your "wonderful man" think of you smearing this situation all over a public website about your past life?  I can't imagine I'd be thrilled if I were him.  And don't you think you're a little old to be referencing back to your acting and pageant queen days?  I've seen your website and you may have once done those things back when (i mean, who didn't), but I think you're about 30 pounds dillusional now.  We've all had our glory days, but sometimes it's time to throw in the towel and quit blaming our behavior on our teenage years!  I was a cheerleader back in high school, but I don't sit by my phone thinking the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are coming to knock down my door anytime soon....20 years later.  Perhaps you should work on bragging about more recent accomplishments.  Look, I really am happy you found someone else.  I'm sure beyond your cries for attention, you're a nice girl and I wish you the best.  I apologize for commenting once again, but feel it was provoked.  I will say that no one deserves to be cheated on, no one.  You had every right to be devastated.  I am truly done with this discussion, so am moving on now.  I always did come across too blunt for my own good. Take care and good luck with your life!