Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Drowning in the Car Pool

My sister and I, free of children, significant others and responsibilities decided to drag my mother (perpetual whiner) and my father (perpetual weirdo) out to a dinner.
In public.
Most of it went without incident.  Dad only made a few comments that made me want to dive under the rickety table and try to figure out how to stick myself there with the waiting pieces of used gum.  Mom only complained every 2.4 seconds instead of the normal .2.  
All was well.
Until we started home.   
"Hey Holly," Dad said, drowning out Summer who was in mid-story about how Desitin makes for great nose cream in the middle of this cold and flu season.  "What do you call a chicken with E.D. ?"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the net - that's my daddy.
"FORGODSAKES! IF EVEN ONE WORD OF THIS RESPONSE IS 'COCK' I'M GOING TO HURT YOU!" I yell over my shoulder to my father who has pulled himself up to the front seat by using my chair as a trampoline.
We all wait in tense silence as dad tries to remember the punchline - and then he grins  the grin of a toothless fool.   "A boneless chicken."
"Huh," I scoff.  "I think you just wanted me to say that word..."
Summer busts out laughing, which, in her "I"m not sick" stage sounds more like a cross between a dying donkey and a phlegmatic monkey when mom grumbles from beneath her Transformers blanket: "I don't get it."

Two minutes later Harry calls to comment on the state of fast food restaurants:

"So, I pull off the interstate and try to decide between McDonald's and Wendy's.  I go to Wendy's and order a Chicken Sandwich, plain and a diet coke.  Pull up to the window where the f'n lady tells me that it'll be six minutes on my grilled chicken so I order a hamburger.   She hands it to me and I ask if it's plain and she says 'no - did you want it plain' so she gets me another one and then asks if anyone has given me my drink and I say no.   She hands me my drink and I leave with my burger and drink.  IT WASN'T EVEN DIET! "   At this point I think he was about to have an aneurysm from the stress of his fast food stop so I ask if I can call him back. 
I then relay the message to my car full of passengers where we all laugh in merriment at my poor husband's "Fast" Food run in.   

I think that's about it on my end - hope everyone's doing great and having fun and all that stuff!    Be careful - check your burgers and watch out for boneless chickens!  ahahahah!

2 comments:

gazker said...

Ummmm, I need to know what E.D. is?
Gaz

beckiepainton said...

mee too whats E.D? Arent men funny, simpe things like that makes them all stressed but a major problem and they just shrug their shoulders, lol!I must add im not generalising here maybe its just our men, maybe.Beckie x:)