Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pretty Sick - but not "Pretty Sick"

I will never forget watching "Sleepless in Seattle" and seeing Meg Ryan fling open the door to greet Tom Hanks as she is so uberly sick that she looks --- awesome. Now, I know the magic of movies shows us the "wants" and not the "as is" - but COME ON!

I'm sick now and do I look like a curly-headed, perky, red-nosed and adorably flushed Meg Ryan?
No - I look like a girl who rolled outta bed, tossed on a t-shirt and pulled her UGG boots up to her nipples in attempts to keep warm.

I am pretty sick, yo.
And on DayQuil, yo.
Which makes me say and do stupid things -- like saying "yo" a lot.

So, yeah, all my orifaces are on strike or fire (there's a mental image for ya!) and my throat hurt so bad yesterday that after a sneezing fit seen only on episodes of Looney Toons (post-pepper mill battle), it started making an odd clicking noise which, of course, leads me to think - I broke my larynx. Or something else in there. The hangy down thing? Maybe I sprained a tonsil?

No clue.

BUT I do know this - I am not a "pretty sick" person. I am awful. Slack, jawed, chapped lips that swell into something disturbing like Angelina Jolie's fat stunt double, and Puffs (with lotion!) stuffed so far up my nose that I may as well start auditioning for whatever Syfy flick is being made for tv. My eyes also swell shut so putting in my required 85 drops a day to keep me from going blind is not unlike trying to squeeze apart something wrapped in heavy-duty clamshell packaging.

So as I sit here in the kitchen, blogging, dripping, coughing, hacking and whining, I can only think to myself - DEAR GOD LET ME DIIIIIIIIIIIE! And the alternative: If Sudafed is semi-contraband due to the fact that one can cook it and make Meth - does that mean Meth is, like, the ultimate Cold Suppressant?



Anonymous said...

If you were old enough to remember the original SNL, I could say, "That's too bad, Babs. Has it ever dawned on you that it just may be your uvula?"

Awww..sorry you are sick.

Odds Bodkins. said...

No doubt Big Harry is smothering you with kindness and pandering to your every whim while you're under the weather.
Bless 'im!
Feel better soon M'dear.

B. x