Monday, December 10, 2007

(IN)Active Update and MORE!

Yeah.  Gonna kill AOL 

Please, behold my transcript with a rather trapped and fine young chap from AOL help regarding the "Active Update" pop-up that has plagued my laptop for months now:

System System AOLTechVIM has joined this session!
System System Connected with AOLTechVIM
System System Hello, H0LLYK911. Welcome to Live Technical Support. My name is Vic.
Agent AOLTechVIM Pleased to meet you online.
Customer H0LLYK911 Hi Vic !
Agent AOLTechVIM Please go ahead and let me know how I can help you today. I am here to help and will do everything I can to assist you.
Customer H0LLYK911 I'm having a problem with a reocurring pop up from AOL about an "
Active Update" - I do not wish to install this nor to be "Reminded Later" about it. It is causing me to have to constantly flip down and "x" out of it.
Customer H0LLYK911 How can I get it to go away?
Customer H0LLYK911 Permanently!
Agent AOLTechVIM I appreciate the opportunity to handle this for you.
Agent AOLTechVIM Please allow me to explain this further on why is this happening.
Customer H0LLYK911 I think I know why it is happening - I'd really just like it to stop! :)
Agent AOLTechVIM Every now and then, there are some changes being made to serve our members better. The AOL Software Update mechanism eliminates the need for you to manually download software updates.
Agent AOLTechVIM Instead, software updates are downloaded in the background with no impact to your online experience. This update is legitimate. Please click the INSTALL NOW button to get the update.
Customer H0LLYK911 I really don't want to install it. isn't there some way to get rid of something I don't wish to download even if it is Legit and comes from Aol?
Agent AOLTechVIM I apologize but in order to stop these updates is to Install them. There is no way we can disable these updates since it is coming from our AOL Servers.
Agent AOLTechVIM Rest assured that, these updates only affect the functionality of AOL, and not your computer or operating system. The primary reason for Active Update is that as new features are added, it is important that all of our Members are using equal and consistent client versions.
Agent AOLTechVIM AOL designs these service updates to run automatically to make it as easy as possible for you to get the best online experience available. The updates run at the end of your session so that they do not affect your time online in any way.
Customer H0LLYK911 Well, now. That's hardly fair to the customers, is it? i still pay for my AOL and would like to be given options not forced into downloading things I'm not comfortable with! I understand WHY there is a download but not why I have to do it.
Customer H0LLYK911 Is there a way to issue a fomal complaint so that AOL customers like me won't have to be boxed in by pop ups in the future?
Agent AOLTechVIM I understand you have a valid concern. I am sure I would feel the same way if I were in your situation. Rest assured, I will be submitting your feedback to the appropriate department so they can look deeper into this.
Agent AOLTechVIM Please continue with your feedback.
Customer H0LLYK911 Can you please ask them to contact me via email, too? I would really like to get some feedback!
Customer H0LLYK911 Thanks for trying to help - I'd really hate to resort to deleting my AOL accnt since I've been a member for so long!
Agent AOLTechVIM You will not receive a confirmation e-mail regarding this issue. However, I assure you the report will be forwarded to the appropriate technical team to best handle the situation.
Agent AOLTechVIM Please allow updates to complete. This will not damage your computer in any way, but instead would keep you in enjoying the best and most up-to-date service that AOL has to offer.
Customer H0LLYK911 At this point - I'm thinking that downloading it would be more troouble than it's worth. As you understand my concern and the fact that my computer is still mine - being forced into downloads I don't want is just - wrong. On many levels.
Customer H0LLYK911 So, please forward on my disgruntledness and please feel free to type in all CAPS from me! :)
Agent AOLTechVIM I totally understand your situation.
Agent AOLTechVIM You may also want to send a feedback to my supervisor at the screen name
Customer H0LLYK911 I definitely will. I know you've helped me as much as you can in light of this rather unfortunate situation. Thanks and have a good day/eve!
Agent AOLTechVIM It has been my pleasure assisting you.
Agent AOLTechVIM :-)
Agent AOLTechVIM Have a GREAT holiday!
Customer H0LLYK911 YOu too! :)
Agent AOLTechVIM Thank you for visiting AOL® Live Help. If you need assistance in the future, just visit the Live Help area at AOL® Keyword: LIVE HELP or on the Internet, go to
And this is what it looks like:
Oh yeah - it is so ON!   Pregnant girl v. AOL.   My money's on meeeee!
And, a passing story just for the heck of it.   Last night around midnight I emerge from the shower like a chubby drowned rat and fumbled, Velma-like, for my glasses.  Harry, in a fit of activity, threw open the doors to the bathroom and rushed me like a NFL linebacker.   I hopped out of the way while still rummaging around trying to find my glasses, a towel and maybe my dignity.   Harry, looking very proud of himself picked up the large bottle of Drano and, without looking at my horror-stricken face, he poured the foul-smelling and highly toxic goo down the drain.  
"Harry!  I've yet to brush my teeth! Why didn't you wait?!  Sh*t! Now our baby will be born without a head!"   I began to fill dizzy but found my glasses.  
"Well!  I did it!  You asked me to pour the stuff down the drain and I did it!" He looked affronted. 
"I did.  Last week, dude!  I asked you to do it last week and - WHY do you think I (cough, cough) asked YOU to do it?"
He stared at my guiltily, bottle of toxic sludge in his hand.
"Because I'm pregnant!  Geez!"
"Princess," he said.  Okay, fine, he didn't  call me "princess" - he called me something more appropriate.  Something less loving - like something that rhymes with "witch."
"And don't you forget it!"
Which lead to our half-serious, almost-constant fight about how he does everything I ask - 75% of the way done.  
"I do not! I took out the trash for you!"
"And did you put a new bag in?"
"Uh - I emptied the dishwasher!"
"Oh - did you reload it?  And close the cabinets back?"


amy122389 said...

omg...I thought I knew Jesse's family, but it appears Jesse and Harry were raised together.  ;-P


dpoem said...

Why the flip do you still pay for AOL?  

I couldn't wait to get that memory-hogging software off my machine as fast as humanly possible --especially once it started crashing my video driver.  

Seriously, Holly.  Paying for AOL will harm your unborn baby!    

Aside from that, well...  I think you need to bake an "extra special" batch of cookies for your loving, caring husband.  hehehe...  


tenyearnap said...

You get 75%?! I'm lucky to get 40%!!!

Hey, doesn't AOL know that you are half of the Evil Husbandless Duo? Fear us, AOL!

princesssaurora said...

OMG!!!  I live here 20 minutes from NYC and haven't gotten to Spamalot or the new Young Frankenstein yet and I so want to!  

I will email you great restaurants tomorrow!

be well,

oddb0dkins said...

Go get 'em girl. I wouldn't want to be standing between you and AOL right now.

B. x

gazker said...

I have a husband like that and I ain't even pregnant!
Gaz xxxx ;-)

plittle said...

What is your objection to the update?

beckiepainton said...

thats what men do, they cannot complete a whole task with out a fag break or thier mind wondering onto something else, i ask my other half to clean out the bath after he has used it.Tipping a jug full of water in the bath does not clean off the scum from the sides, elbow grease and a srubby sponge does.Beckie x