Friday, November 23, 2007

T-day Massacre

No, not really - but wouldn't that make for a great story?  Like "All was calm until Jim Bob and Bob Joe both reached for the last turkey leg..."  But that's ridiculous anyway because everyone know that rednecks (like me and mine) prefer friend chicken and ham to the "normal" T-day feast of turkey and over-processed gravy slime with the skin (oh lordy me, how I hate gravy skin!).  

However, since Harry is of a more gentile background than I, he and his little granny loaded up their Caddy's with the finest selection of perfectly roasted Turkey breasts, Cranberry chutney, stuffing mounds and even a pretty pumpkin roll and plopped it on my extra-large kitchen table for all to enjoy.  Unfortunately for Harry and his granny, I forgot to tell my sister and cousin to be on their best behavior.  So, in the middle of preparations for the feast to beat all feasts my sister, god bless her sailor-like soul, yells out "SH*T!" becuase she had either burned her hand or sliced her finger or some other minor blood-enducing event that shouldn't have caused the barrage of curses to fly from her over-glossed lips.    She meekly looked at Meme and, in her typical non-pausing speech, said "Imeandarn.  Darn!"

Later, my cousin, hell-bent on a tirade about - I don't know - tires or diamonds or some other product that he could get me " a good deal on" releaseda string of words that have not been put together since biblical times when the first cursewords were invented, or, at the very least, by Cartman on Southpark.  Luckily, Harry's grandmother is a bit hard of hearing and kept saying "What?  What did he say?"  While me and the rest of hillbilly hard-totin' fam just giggled and snorted and slapped our jean-clad knees while Harry was frozen, red-cheeked, trying not to look horrified and laughing in spite of himself.  My grandmother, on the other hand, heard every word and cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West while her eldest grandchild continued to curse like a salor-chiropractic hybrid.  

After dinner, we retired to the couches in my living room where Harry rubbed my feet and I quickly lapsed into my newly semi-permanent state of unconsciousness due to my being  - pregnant.  

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (me with Gillian - circa 2003)


cheshirecat578 said...

WHAT!? Are you really pregnant? OMG!!!!!

amy122389 said...



Congratulations!!!!  :-D


princesssaurora said...

YAY!!!!!  I am so happy and excited for you!!!!!!  My first baby was due in August... is that when you are due??  I am so excited....  I told you the universe was telling you it was time!!!  YAY YAY YAY!!!!!  

be well,

dragoneyes1164 said...

HA! HA!  No seriously, ha ha! Congrats for you and Harry. T day at your house sounds fun..and I want to try friend chicken!..LOL
Congrats again,

gazker said...

YOU ARE WHAT?????????? OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HOLLY! Congratualtions. I wondered why we have not been graced by you for so long. You were making babies!
Gaz xxxxx

dpoem said...

Mmm...  Friend chicken.  I don't know what it is, but it sounds, umm..., friendly.  

Congrats on the pregnancy.  Normally, I'd tell you to childproof your home, but it seems as though it's already Holly-proofed, so that's probably much safer.  


psychfun said...

Well seems you got an early present! ;-)

That is hysterical...reminds me of Home for the Holidays or have you seen "The Family Stone" I just love when all the chasing starts up! HA!

jmoqueen said...

Sounds like you had a good time :)


beckiepainton said...

Why are sisters so loud, i was sat int he dentist the other day whist she told the whole of the surgery , and me about her crappy weekend weekend.Beckie x

oddb0dkins said...

All that AND he rubbed your feet! It must be love.

B. x

tenyearnap said...

Can't wait for The Spawn's first cuss-word. I may drop by to teach the little redneck myself.
(Gravy....mostly blechhh! Unless it's woodchuck, of course.)