Daddy Dearest

"Remember the time that your sister in law and her doctor-to-be husband came over for the first time and Dad tripped over the baby gate at the end of the stairs, flipped, barrel rolled and then stood up and said, 'I'm okay.'?"

"Hey - remember when he tried to move the metal chairs from the upper deck to the lower deck but didn't want to take the time to move the chairs into a recline so they kept smacking him on the head - but he just kept moving them?"

"And then when he fell into the pool, slipped under the cover and kept popping up while I held on to one end? He kept yelling 'Drema, keep talking! I'll follow your voice!' but I was too busy laughing to say anything?"

"He called me once when I was working at the law firm to tell me he fell out of bed.  I had to sit there and try not to laugh so loud I would disturb the room full of lawyers next door as he told me how he fell out of bed, rolled into the closet where you had just put up new curtains and then couldn't get out because he was tangled in them!"

"And then that time when Matt Elixon called me and said 'hey - I'm here at the gas station and your dad is hanging out of the window, trying to jump in.  All I can see is his butt.' And I had to say, ' Yeah - he does that sometimes..."

"Remember that time when he cut a GIANT hole in the ceiling so that he could screw a vent in it to cover up the tiny hole he accidentally put in it while mopping the floor? How the hell did he do that in the first place?"


These stories are all about my dad.
He is unintentionally hilarious, which, we all know, is the best kind of hilarious.