Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Welcome to Harry's Baby Life

As is well documented, my baby makes no small show when he is making "presents." So while my sister was enjoying the lunch I made for her, my darling baby decided to start grunting like a pig in heat.
Rushing like a footballer, I tucked him under my arm and rushed to the changing table and, breathing only through my mouth lest I pass out from the foulness and squish my newbie, I pulled down his diaper. Elmo seemed to be warning me from the waistband, but I pressed on.
It was empty.
"Well, Harry!" I said and stepped off to the side to grab the nail clippers as his tiny toe just cut a gash in my arm.
I turned back around to see - a fountain. My baby was grinning and peeing a stream that was reaching a good two feet in the air and drowning the yellow duckies on his footy pajamas.
"You did that on purpose," I said to him as I stripped him down to his (new) diaper.
He's been like that all day.
Earlier he grabbed my thumb between his two pink gums and chomped and then licked it. When I asked for it back - he grinned - not releasing my digit but instead having a grand ol' time increasing pressure slowly - just to see what I would do.
I may have watched too much "Family Guy" while I was pregnant...
I'm scared of my baby. :)

1 comment:

Amber said...

I would say that ornery-ness gets better as they get bigger.....but I don't lie.

Instead, they get smarter and come up with sneakier ways!